I promised myself that I’d post around twice a week – not doing too well on that promise. It’s been two months since my last post. My head isn’t in a space to write in my usual manner, so I’ll just list what’s going on in a half hazard way. I’ve started working for the first time in ten…
The Good News Blog Post
I haven’t posted in awhile because I felt I had nothing to say. When I gave it some thought, I realized there’s nothing wrong with posting all the things that’s right with the world. Sometimes people need to hear it. I’m going to start with the not so good stuff so that I end on a high note. The Not…
Jumping Through Hoops
I’m going to break my rule again today and talk about meds openly. I’m doing so because saying Med1 does this and Med2 does this, would get too confusing. Primarily I’ll talk about Abilify. I’ve been taking it for years and have been happy with it. There are many reasons for taking Abilify, but I primarily give it credit for…
DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!
Saturday was our tenth wedding anniversary. Maurice had to work long hours and I parked my ass at Starbucks to get some writing done. I felt abnormal all day, but wasn’t quite sure what was wrong. Looking back now the answer is obvious. I think I knew, but refused to accept the light-headedness and shaking were happening. Oh hell, I…
Under Pressure
My anxiety has been out of control and getting worse every day. I’ve been weaning off one of my anti-anxiety meds and thought that may be the culprit, but Maurice and I got out the calendar and checked. Nope, this all started happening before I started reducing the meds. I think it’s just plain old fashion, every day, stress, upon…
I Just Want to Stick Around for Awhile
On Saturday I went to Weight Watchers for my weekly weigh-in. I weighed 263 lbs. Based on past posts, many of you understand how frustrated, angry and disheartened I felt when I looked at that scale. My Weight Loss and Gains Here’s a quick history of my weight loss journey, which you can see in the graph below. I joined…
Due to Circumstances Beyond my Control
Today I had planned to write a post about an interesting article that was sent to me. It was about the stigma men face compared to women. Sorry, I can’t do it today. It’s more than I can handle. Instead I’m doing a quick post on how I’m doing. I hate writing a whiny post, but I swore to myself…
Just When I Think it’s Gone for Good
It came back. Every time I think it’s gone for good, it comes back. Nothing scares me more. Nothing makes me feel more vulnerable. Nothing makes me feel so out of control. Nothing makes me feel so alone. There’s nothing that I hate more than dissociation. It’s been about a year since I had my last episode, and that was…
Bipolar Disorder NOS
Bipolar Disorder NOS. What the hell does that mean? I know NOS stands for “Not Otherwise Specified.” But again, I ask, “What the hell does that mean?” My first introduction to NOS was when I was attending a support group in Long Beach. A couple of people had that diagnosis and they weren’t happy about it. I didn’t give it…
Medications
Breaking the Rules My regular readers know that I have a pretty firm rule that I do not discuss medications by name because I don’t want to discourage someone from taking a med that didn’t work for me, but might work for them. We are not all identical, biochemically speaking. For the 8 years I’ve been writing this blog, I…