Anxiety, Anxiety, Anxiety….Eat, Eat, Eat

The bombings in Boston on Monday made me take a good hard look at my life. I’ve already expressed my gratitude for the good things I have. Unfortunately, through it all, I also have been struggling with my good friend, Major Anxiety.

I am an emotional eater, but this week has been more out of control than usual. While I stayed glued to the tv set on Monday I was running to the refrigerator nonstop. Unfortunately our refrigerator is located where I clearly can watch the television. The fridge was evil and called to me all day. I listened and I lost the battle.

I wish I could say it stopped on Monday, but it didn’t. Tuesday and Wednesday were just as bad. Maybe even worse. Being in Weight Watchers I’m suppose to track my food, Well, for the first time I did not track it. I knew I was out of control and the amount I ate was off the charts.

The anxiety has been difficult. It is what made me feel hollow inside and I eat to try and feed that hole. Sadly, that made me want to eat more to fill up the hole that was actually growing larger.

In addition to the gluttony I’ve been dealing with, I also haven’t been exercising. No walking, No time at the gym. I’ve been nothing more than a slug on the couch.

Saturday is my weigh in day and for the first time I’m considering skipping the scale. I think I’ll have gained more than I possibly can. I’ll make that decision
when I get there, but will likely end up getting weighed. DAMMIT!

I’ve lived with anxiety my entire life, but can usually keep it under control. I hope that will pass soon. In the meantime I’ll be fighting hard to not gorge myself and end up gaining the 90lbs back that I lost.

Anyone have any ideas on how to get out of this funk? I can really use the advice right now.

  10 comments for “Anxiety, Anxiety, Anxiety….Eat, Eat, Eat

  1. Peggy Boyd
    April 25, 2013 at 20:40

    I am deeply touched by your cry of frustration. a very familiar battle for me. Hang on, dear friend, hang on. it is a roller coaster ride. Hang on.! a little bit of advice- even though i am binging, if i write it all down, maybe I get back in control sooner.. Once, when i was in weight watchers, I tried this, and discovered that I was only a few points over my limit, and I thought I was really out of control.. I wish you well on your journey.

    • April 25, 2013 at 21:25

      Good advice, Peggy. Thank you, I miss seeing you.

  2. April 19, 2013 at 11:04

    I find myself paralyzed when these tragedies hit, and these days they hit so often that I seem to by paralyzed weekly. I find myself running in circles on social media or hunkered down on the couch avoiding projects and anything that makes me think too much … fortunately, I get sick of the endless non-news so I can turn the news stations off pretty easily, but my mind is still incapable of moving forward to accomplish things. I just sit in a sort of daze.

    I’m one of those people who is the opposite with relation to food though – the more nervous I am, the less I eat. My husband gains weight with stress – I waste away.

    Definitely look at the weigh-in for exactly what it is – a check-in after a nasty, nasty week. We all have our ups and downs – as your brother said, better to stare it straight in the face and tell it that it will not retain its power over you than to shrink away from it and risk a pattern of denial.

    Hope you’re able to get past all of this soon enough. I feel like we’re at a point where desensitization is almost paramount to survival. But of course, that would be very unhealthy …

    • April 19, 2013 at 12:52

      I am proud of myself today. When I started I checked online to read the news and to especially get an update on the Boston bombers. I gave myself 15 minutes and that was it. I switched it off. I’ll put it back on in the afternoon for another check up, but I’ll make that quick and easy as well.

      As I said below, I’ve made a firm decision that I will get on that scale tomorrow. Who knows, maybe it won’t be as bad as I think it will be. If it is, then I know the steps to take to get back on track.

  3. Stan
    April 18, 2013 at 17:31

    Just a couple ideas from your brother. First, with tragedies like this I watch very little of it on TV. I will log on to a news site or read the paper to get quick updates such as to suspects, but watching continueous news does not help me and will get me down. Also, I try to keep as much bad food or food I will overindulge on out of the house as much as possible. Finally, progress not perfection. When you overeat still weigh yourself so you don’t get to where you are in denial. If you gained weight, just start from that point, but don’t beat yourself up too much. Look at where you are now compared to where you were!

    • April 18, 2013 at 19:03

      Thank you, Stan. Not turning the tv off was the big mistake on my part. The endless babble and conjecture was almost too much to deal with, but I hung on and watched it anyway. I have a very difficult exam coming up in my anthropology class. I think there was a small part of me that was procrastinating from studying. I’m sure there are many factors.

      I will go ahead with the weigh in this week. It’s hard to know where to go if you don’t know where you are.

  4. Lora
    April 18, 2013 at 13:59

    Boy do I know the feeling. That’s me some nights after everyone has gone to bed. I think it’s so much worse because no one is watching. I would be mortified to have someone watching me while I do it, though the dirty dishes, pots and pans give me away in the morning. So I have a few suggestions
    A) don’t be in the house alone during the day. Go up to church and power wash the library carpet or some other physical job. Geoff O. isn’t working now. Ask if you can go to his house and do some projects he can’t tackle. Or just ask if he’d come over for the day to hang with you.
    B) Drink as much water as you are eating food. You’ll feel so full that you could burst.
    C). Have you tried getting a whole bunch of gum and hard candy? Sometimes I can trick my body if my mouth is busy.
    D). Make bargains with your self. “I can eat X if I do Y first.”. You’ll get a lot of projects done around the apartment. Clean drawers make me happy, but that might just be me.
    E). Go to the WW website and start reading. There is so much there.
    I’m with you Brad. Hang in there.

    • April 18, 2013 at 18:58

      Oh, I know that rule all too well. “If no one sees you eat it then it doesn’t count.” I do use the gum trick and it is successful sometimes. It works best if I chew some kind of mint that will make the food taste nasty until the mint taste goes away.

  5. April 18, 2013 at 09:48

    When I used to get anxiety, I used to eat everything in sight. But in the last year, I’ve been the opposite – all of my anxiety is linked to my heartburn and nausea, so I now don’t eat much at all when I get anxious.
    What I used to do was only fill my fridge with nutritious stuff – fruit, veggies, and such. That way, even if I was eating a lot, at least I was eating all of my vitamins. And you won’t destroy your diet – you might still gain some weight from the sugars, but it won’t be nearly as bad. The key is to just get the bad stuff out of the house during this time so that you are forced to either not munch or only munch on the super healthy stuff.

    • April 18, 2013 at 10:22

      Good point, Elyse. Sweets are my major downfall, so I do try to keep some fruit around. Works sometimes and sometimes not. But I do keep trying.

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