Dear Mr. President

President George Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington DC 20500

Dear President Bush,

Yesterday I was was surfing the net and I stumbled upon a very interesting Associated Press article which reports that in order to help medical students learn the symptoms of bipolar disorder that a “Mania Day” is held at the Univeristy of Vermont. On this day, people who do not have bipolar disorder are trained for several hours to learn how to “fake it.” There are other students who have been trained to have other ailments so the doctors-in-training learn how to make a correct prognosis. What an excellent program. I’m happy to see that future health care providers are learning to properly diagnose bipolar disorder as well as other ailments.

One interesting point of the article, however, concerns me. These students were paid $20 per hour to pretend they are bipolar. I am a professional, Sir ,and I am sure you would agree that at the very least I should receive compensation equal to these amateurs. However, I currently receive a $1200 per month disability payment and I am bipolar 24 hours per day. This amounts to only $1.66 per hour. Knowing you are a fair man, I am certain this is an oversight and will be adjusted accordingly.

For your benefit and the benefit of the Federal Accounting Office, here is a simplified breakdown of my bill:

  • $20 per hour to have bipolar disorder 24 hours daily = $480 per day
  • 30 days at $480 per day = $14,400 per month
  • 6 months since diagnosed with bipolar disorder = $86,400
  • In fairness I subtracted the amount I have received = $7200

Total amount of bill: $79,200

I have attached a detailed invoice and expect prompt payment of this bill.

Sincerely,

Bradley

Link to: AP Article

13 comments on Dear Mr. President

  1. LOL…I should not try drinking when reading your blog…drinking orange juice that is…you just never know. I absolutely love that!!! It should be posted at every SSA office in the USA.

  2. Dear Mr. Bradley…You are incorrect in your computations and we here at the bureau of “Making it Right” want to show you where you were wrong and how much is actually owed to you. Please follow along closely:Your first 40 hours are billable to us @ your 20/hr rate – which would total $800.But please not that you have an excess of 128 incorrectly billed hours. The next 104 hours are billed at time and a half which is $30/hour and yields you an additional $3120 with the final 24 hours are billed at double time $40 x 24 for the additional sum of $960. Please not that your corrected wages on a weekly basis are $4880. Of course that is pre-tax, and we will make the necessary deductions on your next check. We are sorry for this inconvenience and hope this clarifies the issue. Bennywww.ya-ttitude.com

  3. Benny, I believe you left out Holiday pay along with vacation pay which should normally be accrued. Unused vacation time must also be compensated. I can’t even figure that out, but it should be substantial.

  4. This should be posted in every pdoc’s office around the US.I agree with da Old Man that vacation & holiday pay should be figured in, but least we forget that legally some of the meds can take you on a trip (aka holiday). This could be considered vacation time and, therefore, could be take out of yor current figures. I understand the Federal Legal Team is looking into this right after they deal with the impending gay threat (I understand it’s a bigger threat thepan terrorism).I love you Bradley!

  5. Why is Dennis Kucinich the only one with enough guts to speak of impeachment?The writing on your dad was very moving also.Michelle’s dad

  6. LOL. Me, too, please!Do you think good ole Georgie will go for it? Humph. Me thinks not. I can’t imagine he even thinks there’s such a thing as a mental illness.Good post, Bradley!

  7. Great post! I laughed until I cried, but then I’m hypomanic right now, and am presently computing my own bill! Susan

      1. Thanks very much.. it’s currently in transition phase, i’m trying to improve it so that it looks a bit more like i want it to. But i’m not too good at web design to is taking a while!

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