Impending Doom

doom

I worry. I fret, I fear, I agonize, I stress, and I get anxious. For the last several days, however, I’ve been dealing with something I’ve never felt before – impending doom. I don’t know where’s it’s coming from. I don’t know why I’m feeling it. But it’s there, looming over me ready to strike.

I have a lot going on these days. I’ve overloaded myself by taking on too much at church. I have finals coming up in 1 1/2 weeks. I’m trying to determine when I’ll be able to visit my daughter this summer. Even worse, I don’t know how I’ll pay for the trip. I’m fretting over what classes to take coming up in the Fall semester.

My list goes on. All of these things are creating a lot of anxiety in my life right now. I don’t like to feel so anxious, but I’m use to it. This impending doom feeling is not something I’m use to.

I don’t believe in psychic ability, so you’d think I could shrug it off, but I can’t. What I’m feeling feels real. It’s up there looking down on me and it’s going to turn my world into a living hell.

There’s not much I can do about this feeling I’m feeling. The only thing I know I can do is hunker down and wait for whatever it is to happen. Logically, I know all will remain right with the world and this feeling of doom will pass. I don’t know when, but I’ll be damn grateful when it finally does.

  9 comments for “Impending Doom

  1. May 16, 2013 at 16:05

    As my mother often said to me growing up, ‘This too shall pass.’ It’s not exactly the warmest sentiment, but stoicism is sometimes the best thing for the hunkering down period.

    • May 16, 2013 at 16:54

      Your mother was right. Though I love nothing more than to laugh, stoicism has it’s place when needed.

  2. May 16, 2013 at 15:19

    It’s easy for me to say but this too shall pass. You’ve got a lot on your plate and your in the middle of tweaking your meds. Hang in there…it’ll be over soon!

    • May 16, 2013 at 16:53

      You are right, Michele, this to shall pass. It’s just damned uncomfortable waiting for that to happen.

  3. Lora
    May 16, 2013 at 14:27

    Brad, from this and your other recent posts it sounds like your meds are seriously, seriously, seriously not working now. Do you see your doctor soon?

    • May 16, 2013 at 14:47

      I see him in a couple of weeks, Lora. He recently adjusted my meds because I was too manic. Looks like I’m going through one of those tweek it here and tweek it there periods. That sometimes can take a bit of time since you don’t want to go too crazy trying to find the right cocktail.

  4. May 16, 2013 at 13:22

    One thing I’ve done when I’ve gone through periods like this is “tailor-design” my devotional readings with more reassuring passages (reminding me God is in control). Also, I recommend the Puritan prayer book “The Valley of Vision” which you can obtain on-line.

    I’ll be praying for you.

  5. May 16, 2013 at 09:26

    I have found this form of anxiety to be a part of my depression at times when I am feeling overwhelmed like you are now…try to ride it out and reach out for support…it will get better!

    • May 16, 2013 at 16:55

      Thank you, Patti, I have been reaching out and I’m happy that I’m in a place now where friends reach right back to me.

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