And so the weight gain continues (sigh). To rehash my story, when I first started on this weight loss ordeal I weighed 303 pounds. I couldn’t wear green clothes at the time because people would mistake me for Jabba the Hut. I’d pretty much always been overweight, but once I got on bipolar meds my weight skyrocketed. Nearly every med I was taking had weight gain as a side effect and, unfortunately, I learned that the hard way. Refusing to have gastric bypass surgery, as my doctor recommended, I chose to join Weight Watchers instead. What an excellent program.
While on Weight Watchers I lost a total of 90 pounds and became thoroughly bathed in compliments on how good I looked. Just 10 lbs from reaching the 100 lbs mark, I couldn’t wait to celebrate such a huge milestone, but unfortunately that’s where I stopped. I stopped at 90 lbs and for a short time that’s where I stayed. My WW leader asked if I was self sabotaging. I didn’t think so, at least not on a conscious level. Then, the unthinkable happened…I started gaining. Just a little here and a little there. Each week at weigh-in I would gain and the person at the scale would say “Oh, that’s not so bad,” and they were right. The amount I gained each week wasn’t so bad. Unfortunately, when you get a string of “not so bads” you end up with “oh, so bad.” That’s where I am today. Feeling so bad.
Week after week I gained. As an example, from the beginning of November until today I gained 5 1/2 pounds. Overall, since that 90 pound loss I have gained 38 pounds back. I’ve gone from 213 back up to 251. (another sigh). Today someone asked me when I was going to go back to Weight Watchers. I wanted to say “I never stopped going you rude, insensitive asshole!” but I stayed calm and politely said, “I never stopped going, I just haven’t been following the program.” Which is the truth. It’s not their problem, it’s mine. I haven’t done the very simple things that they have taught me.
So now I’m at 251 and ready to throw myself back into the program. I have to. I gave all my larger clothes to Goodwill and swore I would never buy a larger size again. Thankfully, my smaller sized clothes still fit me. Oh, hell yes, they’re tight, but they still fit me.
The most frustrating part off the weight gain is the meds. I take a total of 6 pills each day. 4 of the pills are primarily for my bipolar disorder and all are weight gainers. The other 2 pills I take help with the bipolar, but they also prevent seizures, which I am prone to. Of those 2 pills, 1 of them says they may cause weight gain OR weight loss (huh?) The final pill is my favorite because one of its side effects is weight loss. As you can see, regarding meds, the odds are stacked against me.
What does all this mean? Well, the meds aren’t going away so, once again, I need to get back on the program, and accept this must be a lifelong plan.
I did it once, so I know I can do it again. I expect the next weight update I give you will be more positive.