Should I Stay or Should I Go

This blog has been a blessing to me. When my bipolar disorder was sending me as high as a rocket or made me want to crawl under a rock, I found writing in the blog to be extremely cathartic.

In addition to helping myself, I created this blog to teach others about living with a mood disorder. Based on the feedback I’ve received I feel that mission was accomplished for many.

So now my life is balanced and I’m at a crossroads. My meds are working great so I’m not having the high peaks or low valleys in my mood. In the process I seem to have lost my creative edge. I’ve heard from others in my support groups that this is not uncommon.

So now I have to decide what to do with my blog. Is it time to just say “mission accomplished” and move on? Sure I could continue updates on how Bradley is doing, but it would be routine stuff. Not much exciting. I had planned to switch to focusing on my diet and weight loss, but I don’t have a huge interest in writing “today I ate healthy” or “I should have exercised today”.

Based on all of the above I’m considering shutting the blog down. It’s a difficult decision to make because I still have a strong love for it and don’t want to let it go.

I’m seeking advice… Have you ever been at this crossroads? If you continued blogging, how did you become motivated again? Should I change the format? If so, to what? I’ve asked these questions in an older post, but now the situation is getting more grim, so I thought I’d give it another shot.

  18 comments for “Should I Stay or Should I Go

  1. Dano MacNamarrah
    December 5, 2008 at 02:23

    Hey Bradley,Just stopping by to let you know that you are not forgotten. I’m cooking up an idea for a virtual MAD TEA PARTY, based on the group of that name out of Chicago. When you get back, I would love to bend your ear about it.Take care, Dano.

  2. November 27, 2008 at 10:01

    Yes, I have most definitely been at this crossroads and it was tough. I just stopped writing for quite a while. When I finally felt like I had something to say I wrote again and revamped the blog in the process.I wouldn’t shut it down if I were you until I was sure, SURE that it was what I wanted to do. You’ve done a lot of good things in your blog and also in the mental health directory. If you do shut down, please let us know first so that we can say our proper goodbyes. :)Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, Bradley. I am very thankful to have met you in the blogosphere.*hugs*

  3. November 23, 2008 at 20:38

    I’m getting bored of it too 🙁

  4. November 23, 2008 at 16:07

    I myself have returned to writing in my blog after an 11 month break of, like you said, leveling off and losing that creative edge. It does come back, whether it is mania, depression or hopefully something else. You will again feel that urge to write and you will be happy your blog is still there. Maybe just make a post “so long for now” or something to that effect. When you do come back, it will be as though you never left.

  5. Dano MacNamarrah
    November 22, 2008 at 02:57

    Dearest Bradley,I have found myself in your situation recently. I was in a terrible depression and found it hard to write. Not so much about myself, but to respond to the blogs that I follow. This was compounded by me receiving an award that I am supposed to forward to five others. And I got “tagged” to write some facts about myself. I could barely breathe, so all of this became a burden, rather than a joy.One thing I recall, is John Grohol over at PsychCentral, has written about this very issue. He was awarding various blogs for their mental health contents. He wrote of how so many fall to the way side. Either from illness, or a shift in focus.We bare our souls in our blogs. We share so much of ourselves, creating a virtual community. At some point, it becomes hard to go on. We bore ourselves with our relentless self-examination.At first we write for release, to let others know the truth about a life with a mental health diagnoses. At some point, the honeymoon is over.In farming, the way to produce the best from the land, is to allow a field to go “fallow” every four years. This way, the earth can heal itself.Brave writers such as yourself, do take pause. One glaring example is CatatonicKid.You have given so much. The fact that you created this blog as well as the MH Directory, shows your passion. But you need to regroup. To write when you are in a rut is your choice.But the thing is, we are not under a deadline. This is an organic process. If you find this too much right now, then you should reflect on what it is that bothers you about blogging.Is it the pressure, knowing that people rely on you? Is it that you see other issues that concern you? Have you extended yourself beyond your comfort?Or are you simply tired? Tired of being you, writing about you, of exposing yourself? Maybe you are depressed or burnt out.Maybe you need to lie fallow for a while. The concern you have for your blog is perfectly understandable. But without you taking care of yourself, you won’t be doing anyone any favours. Most of all, yourself.My best wishes to you and your husband.

  6. November 21, 2008 at 23:06

    Hi Bradley – I haven’t made an EC drop on you in 2 months because I took a long hiatus, for very similar reasons.In the end, I’m resurrecting my blog because I missed it. So I don’t recommend that you pull down your blog in the meantime, because when you change your mind you’ll discover you deleted all your pictures by mistake, or something (which is what I did…).If you like to write, it’ll be hard to stop. But it doesn’t mean you don’t go through dry spells, that is for sure. I found I hit a point where I found equilibrium but was a little numb for a while. Gradually my creativity is coming back, and my feeling for things, but the equilibrium is sticking around. It just took time to happen.

  7. November 20, 2008 at 15:22

    Nothing wrong with taking a break. Nothing wrong with starting it back up again. You write very well and it is fun to read no matter what the subject matter is.

  8. November 20, 2008 at 06:22

    Bradley,Yes, I’m in the same category been there and done that, I think I went on a hiatus that lasted 8 hours once, LOL.I’ve been rambling on my blog for almost 2 solid years, first to tell one story, then my life happened on the blog and took over.What I miss when I can’t get online etc? my blog friends! I think that is one of my inspirations, and the great thing about blogging. Zathyn, you made me laugh, and am glad your blog is still there, same as Gianna’s!I hope you have a nice break and if anything Bradley, post an update monthly for us (please):)I’ll be thinking of you, and PS have you tried Starbuck’s Holiday ‘Espresso Truffle’ drink? I order it non-fat milk and it’s SO good, I think it’s ok on our weight loss programs but don’t tell me if it isn’t! haha

  9. November 19, 2008 at 21:44

    I’ve come and gone so many times now it’s ridiculous…but I find I can’t stay away…I look forward to the day when I can stay away…I’m housebound so have nothing better to do!!have fun on your break and I hope you figure something out.

  10. Zathyn Priest
    November 18, 2008 at 12:42

    I think I may hold the world record for shutting down a Blog and then reopening it again later when I’ve regretted the decision.My suggestion would be to place your Blog on hiatus. Take a few weeks off, don’t think about it, and then re-evaluate at a later date. The funny thing about inspiration and creativity is the fact it always decides to return just when you’d decided to close off its expression avenue.Anyhoo, that’s my two cents, for whatever it’s worth 😉

  11. la
    November 18, 2008 at 06:33

    Going against public opinion it seems … but I think you can help people with a mood disorder just as much, if not more so, by writing about your normal life, showing that you can have a normal life even with a mood disorder. I don’t think a blog (or a life) has to have dramatic highs and lows in order to be interesting. You might feel more creative when you’re low and be compelled to tell the world how miserable you are (I know that one) or else when you’re high and have a million ideas at once but, remember, those two moods also conspire against writing. When you’re low you can feel unmotivated and too empty for words; when you’re high you’re full of ’em but you can’t sit down long enough to express them in a coherent fashion.How long have you been blogging? Maybe you have blog fatigue. Since I reached my first anniversary I’ve been losing interest in my blog. But I worked hard to build it up and I don’t want to throw it away because of what might turn out to be a passing mood.Anyway, it’s your decision to blog or not to blog but I for one would miss you!

  12. November 18, 2008 at 07:24

    Most of what I was going to say has already been said. Take a break from this blog and either start another blog on a completely different subject that interests you or maybe just stop writing for a while. If during the break you feel compelled to keep this blog going then do so if not just let it be. For me reading about someone who is dealing with an illness talking about how normal their life is tends to have more of an impact as it reminds me that recovery is possible. This blog is an asset to many people and past posts will continue to help and educate others. Like everyone else has been saying take a break and listen to what your heart is telling you. take care.

  13. November 18, 2008 at 06:48

    When I reached that point, I changed the focus to something that made me happier. I became, more or less, a humorblogger. For today, that makes me happy.

  14. November 18, 2008 at 06:34

    Blog as the mood takes you – whether tis better to blog or not or about what. Whatever moves you. You don’t owe anything to anyone, except yourself. You have to enjoy what you are doing or there’s no point.

  15. lis
    November 18, 2008 at 04:55

    I agree with clueless. A break may be what you need for now. I appreciate your blog and its so good to hear you are stable.

  16. November 18, 2008 at 03:52

    Why don’t you just take a break and post when you feel like it. When I did that with another blog, things natually fell into place for me. The biggest thing was that I took the pressure of having to make a decision off of myself, so that I could figure out what I wanted. You could decide tomorrow or next year and then change your mind. I hope whatever you decide is that you won’t forget us here.

  17. November 18, 2008 at 02:07

    Thanks, anonymous, but I wasn’t looking for permission to quit or not. I am seeking advice on how to get out of this rut so I don’t end up quitting. I’d like to continue but only if it’s interesting to me, and then likely to others as well.

  18. November 18, 2008 at 01:38

    Do whatever YOU want. No one else can make you quit blogging, and no one else can keep you writing.

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