It’s been a difficult ride lately. I’ve been sharing for a long time now that I’ve been dealing with depr3ssion. I mean, yeah, I live with it daily, but it’s been beating me beyond normal wear and tear. I met with my therapist on Wednesday and we discussed this. He was surprised that I have been unsuccessful getting my pdoc to adjust my meds a bit. This became especially true when I told him I’ve been having suicide ideation. I’m not one who goes running to the doc to get more or different drugs every time the wind blows. Psych meds have vastly improved my life, but I know their risks and treat them with great respect. My pdoc knows this, which is why it’s surprising that he hasn’t been listening to me. At my next appointment I am going to adamantly let him know that my meds MUST be adjusted. While the depression has been eating me out on the inside, I’ve been hiding it pretty well on the outside, but that is getting more difficult to do.
One thing the depression and anxiety is affecting is my ability to read. Reading other blogs is normally part of my daily routine, but I’ve been doing very little of it lately. I’ve struggled enough reading for my English class. That wears me out. Blog posts that are around 900 words or more are especially difficult, or should I say, damn near impossible. Instead, I’ve been vegin’ out in my chair watching tv, and I am normally not a tv watcher. I’m really getting sick and tired of this.
There is one positive aspect of being depressed all the time: I never run out of ideas to post about. How’s that for a silver lining?