Slowly Killing Your Soul

merger, analysis, consult,
dividends, recruitment, associates,
implementation, strategic planning,
productivity, restructure, outcome,
negotiate, long-term, exemption,
directive, recruit, gross, net,
operational, recession, shareholders….
lap tops, cell phones, i phones, Blackberries, raspberries, snozberries….

All the above summarizes what I saw and heard at the airport on my trip home last week. Mostly from stressed, angry looking people wearing expensive suits. I use to be one of them.

6:00am Walk up in the morning and grab a cup of coffee
7:30am Begin work, drink 2 pots of coffee, return phone calls and emails and work on presentation.
12:00n Have lunch with co-workers and talk business the entire time
1:00pm Return from lunch and head to a meeting
2:30pm Back at the desk to return a dozen phone calls and an equal number of emails.
3:30pm Another afternoon meeting
5:00pm Back at desk to return a dozen phone calls and an equal number of emails.
6:00pm Resume completing paperwork.
7:00pm Head home

Those were typically my days. Too many are living it right now. Some probably look at that and think I had it easy. One of the few benefits having a mood disorder is that it got me out of that corporate environment. It was hell being there. Sure, I got to travel to exciting places, I had the big office and the fancy title. I managed a large region. I felt I was important, and I was to the company. I was just like all those stressed out drones at the airport. Important: yes. Fulfilled: no.

And the sad thing was that I really wasn’t important. Sure, the job I did was important to the corporation, but if I left, which I did, the corporation would keep operating. If the corporation shut down, which it hasn’t, the world would keep spinning.

I had a friend who is active in the film and television industry. She is close friends with numerous celebrities. I asked her once why so many stars end up dying from suicide and drug overdose. Her response was, “Because they have it all. At least they think they do.” She went on to explain that they’ve acquired all there is to acquire, they’ve achieved fame, etc. and they then look around and ask “Is this all there is?” She said her belief is that’s why they feel so hollow inside. I think that is true for many people. Even if they don’t physically die, they allow themselves to die inside.

That was me. I’m happy to be finding myself again.

  5 comments for “Slowly Killing Your Soul

  1. Michelle
    August 27, 2008 at 19:22

    All I can say is into action and then rest and then have a life.

  2. August 26, 2008 at 07:55

    My Dad has the same sort of situation – had to drop out of it all, in the end, after being big in advertising for years. He had a big celebration the day he announced he wasn’t going back to the rat race. Burned a few of his ties and used the rest to make a quilt LOLNow your life can be your life, all aspects of it and that’s pretty cool, to my mind.

  3. August 26, 2008 at 06:38

    Good post, I enjoyed it. I can’t wait until I’m able to step outside of the “working a million hours box” and actually enjoy wha I’ve worked for.

  4. August 25, 2008 at 20:28

    Welcome back. I knw what you mean, about the “rat race.” Hey, who wants to hang with a bunch of rats anyway, and why try to become the top one? I used to work the same schedule and was miserable. One time, I sat and wondered why I was tired and cranky all the time. Turns out, I was working 60 hour weeks. That will do it. 🙂

  5. August 25, 2008 at 20:17

    Same for me…funny how being forced not to work changes your priorities and how you find “authentic” sources of happiness like Ben and Jerry’s. 🙂

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