The last time I posted my weight, I had lost some weight and had reached a plateau and was struggling to lose 2 more pounds as a mini goal. I haven’t been on a scale since then and for good reason. I haven’t taken a good healthy walk since returning from my vacation a few weeks ago. Those who read my vacation posts know that I was no slacker during my trip. In fact, I walked 2 – 3 times more than normal. Since I’ve been back, however, I just can’t get motivated to get moving. I use to walk around 5am each morning and these days I nearly always get up at 4am, so that is no excuse. I know I need to just get out and do it, but I’ve had no motivation. It doesn’t help that I’ve had a continuous low lying depression which has me in that famous Catch 22 – diet and excercise reduce depression, but when you’re depressed the last thing you want to do is diet and exercise.
Ugh. I don’t want to even discuss my diet. I’m at least not eating continuously throughout the day. I am eating meals and snacking in between, but the meals I’m having are not the most healthy fare. Pizza, frozen pot pies, lots of pasta and gobs and gobs of peanut butter (Yeah, yeah, I know. I swore I wouldn’t let peanut butter in the house again). In addition, I’ve been a little on the Ben & Jerry’s kick as well. Tsk Tsk on me.
Because I’m a person who needs goals and measurements of them, I’m finally going to get on the scale at the end of the week. That’s when my next doctors appointment is. I hope it’s not as bad as I expect, but I’ll keep you posted either way.
Once again I have a severe case of the Chihauha Syndrome. My husband, Maurice, swears this is one of the reasons I can’t excercise. He thinks I’m expelling too much energy from shaking all day. My left arm shakes violently all the time. At first we were concerned it was neurological, however, I am able to stop it – I just have to start shaking my right hand. If I need both hands I can just start shaking a foot. No matter which appendage I use, one of them needs to be shaking. It’s also frustrating because it’s very noticible and that means people are now asking me how I’m doing again. (sigh). It gets tiring having to explain the problem or trying to convince them I’m really ok. Hearts may be in the right place, but it’s maddening.
Because I’m still dealing with low lying depression, mania and major anxiety, I’m going through major drug changes again. I don’t expect everyone out there to understand what all these drugs are for, but just want to give you a list of what I take:
That’s 8 different types of meds, some of which I take several times a day. It’s quite a meal sometimes when I have to take nearly all. The goal is to wean me off a couple of them over the next few weeks, but that’s what I’m taking for now. It seems like I”m always in the process of weaning off some and starting on others. (sigh)
So there’s my list. Overall it’s not one that makes me too happy, but we’ll see how it goes over the next few weeks.