The last time I posted about my weight was about 3 weeks ago. I weighed 218 pounds. Since then I gained a bit here and lost a bit there. Overall, unfortunately, I gained more than I lost. On Saturday I had my Weight Watchers weekly weigh in and I weigh 223 pounds. 5 pounds gained in the last 3 weeks! (sigh)
At one point I was at 90 pounds total lost. Saturday I was net 80 pounds lost. When I was at 90 I was feeling so close to a total of 100 I could taste it. I couldn’t wait until it was announced to the group that I lost 100 lbs. I imagined all the “oohs” and “aahs” and a big round of applause. I gained a little and then lost again right back to 90 pounds total lost. Then I started gaining again up to the point where I am now. It seems like there’s this 90 lb barrier that I just can’t pass.
I was frustrated so I talked with my team leader and she asked if it was self sabotage in some way. I certainly never did it on a conscious level. Could it be possible that it’s self sabotage on a sub-conscious level? I’m not sure. I certainly hope not, but it is something to consider.
On a positive note, Maurice and I both gave our “fat” clothes to Goodwill, and bought just enough new ones to get by before we lost more weight. So far I still fit comfortably in them. I’d be devastated if I had to go buy my old size again.