Dani authors the blog Mom’s Crazy Life. In the past Dani and I have exchanged advice back and forth regarding blogging and a few personal questions. This past Tuesday, however, Dani chose to ask a question of an even more personal nature and asked it openly in the comments section of this blog. Considering that, I hope she doesn’t mind me responding publicly as well.
Dani wrote:
I have a question for you. I hope you don’t mind. I figured I’d ask considering you’ve given me such great advice before. Okay, I have this woman at work whom is nothing but a spiteful b*tch. She does everything and anything in her power to try and make me miserable. I really don’t think anything has ever been provoked for I don’t recall ever doing anything to her at all. She continuously makes snidey comments and remarks and basically makes working unbearable. Do you have any suggestions?
Dear Dani,
I think it’s time you put this woman in her place. You are a nurse in a medical facility so you have many options. Personally, I’d give her some anesthesia and place her on a gurney to have a kidney taken out. Hell, you could even sell her kidney on the black market.
If you are unwilling to do that then I think you need to talk with this bitch. Don’t be confrontational. If she gets upset and tries to make it into a fight, don’t allow her to drag you down. You can’t control her reactions, but you can control yours. This could be all it takes to get down to the bottom of the problem. It could even be a complete misunderstanding.
If a discussion doesn’t work then your other option is to go to your boss. You may feel uncomfortable doing so and feel you’ll just be causing problems, but then you need to accept your choice and just deal with it. Any good manager will refuse to allow discourse in the office. As a manager, my rule always was that my employees didn’t have to be friends but they did have to treat each other with respect.
One important question to ask, however, is she sleeping with the boss? If that’s the case then you can expect nothing to be done. In fact, bringing the issue up could get you fired. On the other hand, if you are certain she is not sleeping with the boss then you might want to consider doing so. That is an excellent way to ensure no one in the office messes with you.
If you find that she doesn’t respond well by speaking with her and your boss refuses to do anything about the situation then I highly recommend considering a transfer or going to another facility. No one should have to work under those conditions. As frustrating as it may be, all the choices you follow and decisions you make are yours. You can’t force another person to change. In life, the ball is almost always in your court.
~ Uncle Bradley
I am so blaming the diet coke all over the monitor on you, Uncle Bradley!
Uncle Bradley…that sounds so nice. I’ve been in this situation before and my supervisor was not responsive. As a Christian, I decided to not treat her any differently than others including gift exchanges, picking up her mail, faxes if they were mixed with mine, talking with her about mutual work related issues. It was all business and I remained repectful, but it was extremely difficult. However, she really changed and wrote me a note telling her that she appreciated me.However, I have been in a similar position at the same job where it became intolerable and was effecting my health, so I quit.You really have to weight the pros and cons and consider what you can handle and are willing to do. Best of luck to you, Dani.
Uncle Bradley, did you want to correct your spelling of “wisdom?”
Uncle Bradley, I just LOL’ed.
I know a guy who is my friend who I called a couple of days in a row to see if he wanted to go to meetings. I was a bit manic and I called before 8 a.m. He threatened that he would file a harassment charge against me. I backed off and he is still a dear friend of mine. Some people need space, others need T.L.C., still others need abandonment. For our own peace of mind we need to figure out which to apply in each give setting.
Bradley, I have to say thank you so much. I love the whole sleeping with the boss idea, but she’s a woman. (though she might like it) I like the kidney idea too, but with my luck, I’d get caught and sentenced for 88 years ( even though right about now, it sounds pretty good). I think you’re absolutely right as far as my needing to confront her. I hope it’ll clear the air and again as you stated it could be a misunderstanding. I’m gonna give it the old fashioned college try tonight at work and I’ll let you know how it worked out. I knew I asked the right person for advice !!!! Thank you so much again…..P.S. I love the “Uncle Bradley”.And to anyone that’s reading this…IF YOU NEED ADVICE…GO TO THIS MAN…he’s been a life saver to me…
Bradley,When you wrote the post about all the careers you’ve had and didn’t like, you didn’t mention possible new ones or did you?. What about Uncle Bradley, the equivalent to Dear Abby? Clearly, you have a knack for this.Personally, I thought the best advice was to remove a kidney, but that’s just me.Susan
Dear Uncle Bradley. Yes, start a blog, please with that.I have several questions for you that I wanted to ask for a while now via email.:)
given