Last week can best be described as uncomfortable. No mania and no major depression, but I did have mild depression that felt like it was crawling under my skin and would not go away. I also struggled with ongoing feeling of “less than.”
I was able to function, but it was exhausting. Externally I don’t believe it was noticeable. What was noticeable was my loss of desire to exercise and gross overeating. It definitely was a week that I was trying to fill that lonely, empty hole with food.
Weight and Fitness
Weight on Aug 06 – 257.2
Weight on August 13 – 258.6
Total gain = 1.4 lbs.
Last week was my second week in a row of weight gain. It’s no surprise since I was trying to bury my feelings with food. I don’t remember having a week that I ate so much in a long, long time. Each day that I over ate upset me enough to eat even more the next day.
On a positive note, I did succeed in keeping my promise to myself to never see 260 lbs. or more again on the scale. I’m dangerously close, but I have this week to make a difference.
Last week I said I was immersing myself in learning more about male/male fiction and am doing so. I feel positive with what I’ve written and each day that I study and write, I believe I am a better writer.
For the first time in my life, I love my “job.” It is my vocation rather than my occupation.
As uncomfortable as I was this week, it was far better than last week. Yeah, my mood and my fitness didn’t go as I hoped, but they weren’t horrible. The joy I get from writing outweighs their drawbacks.
I’ll give my week an A-OK.