Weekly Wrap-Up November 21, 2016

weekly wrap-up

Mood

Some time has passed since the election, so it’s no surprise that my depression has somewhat lifted as well. The keyword being “somewhat.” My God I wish it was gone. Sometimes I think it has and then I’ll realize I spent an hour staring at the wall. I sigh so regularly that Maurice keeps asking me what’s wrong because he thinks I’m having difficulty breathing. My desire to move out of the country has become an obsession. I’ve lost so much faith.

On Friday I had an appointment with both my pdoc and my therapist. It was a challenge with my pdoc. He kept telling me he wishes he had magical words that would make me feel better – and he tried. He kept quoting from our founding fathers. It only served to irritate me. He told me that he’s not a religious man, but is of Jewish heritage and proceeded to educate me that the Jews have learned to laugh in the face of adversity. He also brought up the Cuban Missile Crisis and talked of being told as a schoolboy to duck and cover if a missile was dropped. I told him that we were still watching those movies when I was in school and that we practiced getting under our desks. I have no idea what he was expecting by telling me those little gems.

I told my pdoc about the anxiety attacks I’d been having. I asked him to simply give me five pills of an additional anti-anxiety med that I can take when I feel an attack coming on. The man hemmed and hawed for a long time. He brought up me building a resistance and blah, blah, blah. I reminded him I was only asking him for five pills. He asked if I felt I was in imminent danger and when I told him yes, he reluctantly caved.

My therapist was a different story. We had an excellent session. We discussed my researching other countries Maurice and I could move to. He didn’t think it was unhealthy, especially since I was researching and not having a knee-jerk reaction. I think he was as excited as I am at the possibility of a new adventure.

He helped me move past some of the deep fears I was having. Just pointing out that Hillary won every county in California, except one, made me feel a little better.

So are Maurice and I going to move out of the U.S.? That’s still in the discussion stage. Definitely being seriously considered, but we’re not moving tomorrow. I’ll update that more sometime this week.

Weight and Fitness

Weight on Nov. 12: 259.6 lbs.
Weight on Nov, 12: 256.6 lbs.
Total loss: 3.0 lbs.

Lost 3 pounds? I have no idea how it happened, but blessed be! The week prior to last I gained 3 pounds, so I’m feeling peachy to have not gained more. I promised myself I’d never be in the 260’s again and I kept that promise.

Because of the anxiety and depression, it was another week of bad eating habits and little to no exercise, which is why I’m so surprised.

Writing

Another week of getting nowhere. I did a little editing here and there, but nothing new. Maurice is on vacation all this week and we’ll be up at his parents, so I’m not expecting to get much of anything done. I’ll at least try to do some editing.

Synopsis

Mood still sucks; I did lose 3 pounds; No writing done. I’ll be generous and score last week a D+

  9 comments for “Weekly Wrap-Up November 21, 2016

  1. November 23, 2016 at 09:17

    So glad to hear you’re feeling more positively. Just promise your readers–wherever you might live–you’ll keep posting! You can move out of the country we both currently share, but please don’t move off of the internet!

  2. November 21, 2016 at 20:51

    Boo. But you know, I still see a lot of positives, so maybe you’re on an upswing 🙂

    • Bradley
      November 21, 2016 at 22:21

      I am on an upswing, just not as fast as I want

  3. November 21, 2016 at 09:34

    We’re in this together. My depression has been circulating in my mind and soul for a month and a half now? I have my pdoc appointment Friday so fingers crossed he’ll be receptive to some med changes. Also I just got off a suicidal thought train…. Keep chugging xo

    • Bradley
      November 21, 2016 at 09:41

      Glad to hear you’ve passed the suicidal thoughts. It’s horrible to be in the funk. Mine seems to be passing. I’m doing much better. Hope your pdoc appointment goes well.

  4. November 21, 2016 at 08:49

    You and I both lost weight the hard way, didn’t we?
    Still, it was a nice surprise!

    I’m glad your session with your therapist went better than with your “storyteller” pdoc! Of course he had the best intentions (it sounds like it, anyway), but sometimes those kinds of anecdotes fall flat or worsen the current situation. You stuck up for those 5 pills, and I’m very proud of you!

    I definitely hope you get some editing done this week – it’s gotta be hard when you’re at your in-law’s. I’m glad you’re realistic about it! Hang in there today, my friend. See you over at LoseIt! Now that I’m finally feeling like I’ve got my sea legs back, you’ll see me round there more consistently.

    XoXo
    The Captain

    • Bradley
      November 21, 2016 at 09:27

      I think he unwittingly emphasized that pdoc’s are not therapists. Big difference between the two, Thank you, Captain

    • November 21, 2016 at 23:40

      I second our captain’s thoughts and I await her more regularly over in our favourite street rightBradley? 🙂

      • Bradley
        November 22, 2016 at 00:59

        Absolutely agree.

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