The week started off well. I enjoyed myself staying at Maurice’s parents, but when I got home I crashed. Socializing and being out of my environment takes its toll on me. I came home feeling good, but did not expect how badly it affected me until the next morning. There was a small amount of stress, but mostly it was exhausting. It felt like every drop of blood had been siphoned out of my body. That lasted a couple of days so I really didn’t have myself together until Thursday. I know most people get exhausted when being out of their normal environment, but I don’t believe they have a clue how debilitating it can be for those of us living with mental illness. Fortunately, this week I only have an appointment with my therapist, so the rest of the week is mine to do the things I want need to get done. I need that.
Weight and Fitness
Weight on Sep 03 – 257.8
Weight on Sep 12 – 260.2
Total gain = 2.4 lbs.
I knew when I got on the scale on Saturday that it wasn’t going to be pretty. The three day labor day weekend started me off in the wrong direction. As I said, we stayed with Maurice’s parents for several days and let me say they don’t cook healthy when we’re there. Typically, each day starts with cheese grits and sausage. We end each day with far more food than the four of us can handle. Most dinners consist of chicken, ribs and sausage. If I would stick with just the chicken I’d be fine, but I had to have some sausage too. Fortunately, I do not like ribs.
Well, that’s just three days. What about the rest of the week, Bradley? I simply had the “I don’t give a damns.” Though logically I know better, my brain tells me that I screwed up the weekend, so why bother with the rest of the week. I also went the week with very little exercise.
On Saturday I said a little prayer before I got on the scale and it didn’t help. I knew I gained, but as you may recall I swore to myself that I’d never see 260 lbs. again. As you can see, I blew it.
I’m beyond frustrated and wonder why I want to even bother at this point. I’m considering saving money and quitting Weight Watchers, which is sad because I truly believe in their program. In fact, at one point I lost 90 lbs. and felt great. It’s when I stopped following the program that I gained 50 of that back. I didn’t gain it all back (which is what happens to most people in weight loss programs,) because Weight Watchers is NOT a diet, it’s a life change.
For now I plan to recommit to the program with proper meal portions and exercise. I have to give it one more chance. One reader, sometime over the past couple of weeks, suggested posting pictures of myself to show the change in how I look. I’ve seen others do it before. Starting with the first week of October I will begin posting pics of myself at the beginning of each month. (gulp) It’s going to be uncomfortable, but I’m willing to try anything,
Made some progress in the writing game. I realized I was stuck because I had no idea which direction to go. I was stumped, when suddenly I realized I knew what to do. I needed an outline for the rest of the novel. So, I sat my ass down, created an outline for the parts already written and then continued through to the end of the book. It worked! I have direction once again. I was thrilled at the end of the week when I wrote a chapter. My goal is to write more, but it’s a start.
Mixed mood and horrible weight gain beat me up this week. Even though I had progress with the novel, it took most of the week to get back on track. I’m giving the week a D+ It pretty much sucked.