A Bittersweet Day

I’ve made it no secret that I supported Barak Obama for president. I was very excited when it was announced he won. This truly is a momentous occasion. Even those who didn’t support him should feel proud that a black man can finally be president in the U.S.

Unfortunately, nearer and dearer to my heart, proposition 8 passed in California. Proposition 8 declared that marriage is between a man and a woman. Four months ago the state supreme court declared that I am an equal citizen. I could legally marry the man I loved. That all changed yesterday. The citizens of the state voted to overturn the Supreme Court’s decision.

I don’t really know what to say about all this. I’ve shed a few tears. I’m ready, without hesitation, to move to Canada, but I don’t think Maurice is open to the idea. Many have already told me they would perceive that as cowardly. I, however, consider it just voting with my feet. If Americans want to consider me a second class citizen, then fine, I’ll just go where they feel differently about that.

Three separate states added to their constitutions last night that marriage is only between a man and a woman. So yes, we finally have reached the point that a black man is in office, but there’s still plenty of hate to go around.

Anger and sadness are ripping my guts out right now. Fuck you to all the haters out there.

  20 comments for “A Bittersweet Day

  1. November 10, 2008 at 04:23

    Bradley – as soon as I saw the news I thought of you and McB. I’m so so sorry 🙁 Please know you both are in my prayers. You have each other and that is most important. And just know both D and I feel incredible anger and stupidity toward all those who voted for that Prop in CA and the one in AZ :(*hugs8

  2. November 7, 2008 at 22:42

    I, too, am saddened and pissed off about Prop 8. I posted about it today and while I didnt use my words for the entire post, I used the words of someone who I think made a very strong and powerful statement about it – Melissa Etheridge. If you have not read her words to the state of CA, I highly recommend reading it. *hugs* I support you.

  3. November 7, 2008 at 05:44

    Brad,I am also so saddened by the passage of prop 8, but gary is right on the progress that has been made. I see the difference in my high school students that I teach. Four years ago all they cared about in electing Bush was the gay marriage issue. Now I have gay couples holding hands on campus. It is changing, keep the faith. Deb

  4. November 7, 2008 at 03:29

    I’m so sorry about Prop 8 Bradley. It’s stupid. It may be admirable in some way to stay and fight and not “be chicken”. Sometimes, though, voting with your feet is the best thing to do. I mean, you do have to take care of you, no matter what anyone else does or doesn’t do. Bradley, don’t you think you have enough to fight between the addiction and mental illness without forcing yourself to fight other things too? You’re certainly not a second class citizen in my eyes, and in the eyes of many. Sadly, there still is way to much hate going around. But hon, do what you need to do for you. *sending you lots of hugs*

  5. Zathyn Priest
    November 6, 2008 at 13:51

    I wonder if equal rights for gay marraige will ever be accepted in my lifetime. Not just in certain states, but across the board. Ignorance is the greatest thing to be feared, not love between same sex couples.

  6. November 6, 2008 at 18:56

    Bradley, I am saddened by the ignorance of people in California. I thought Californian’s would be more liberal in their thinking. So stupid. If you are over 18, in love, you have the right to get married (and divorced) just as any straight couple. I wish people would stop worrying about what other people do in other people’s bedrooms and concentrate on what people do in their own. I am pretty sure you can get married in NJ now. Take care. Be glad you have someone in your life. So many of us don’t and there is nothing as wonderful as having someone in your life who loves you and you love back. I just do feel so sorry you cannot get married.

  7. November 6, 2008 at 04:19

    It will happen…look to the progression that occured in the just concluded presidential race. We had the same dumbass proposition in AZ, Proposition 102. Same language pretty much.We spoke about election issues in class today. When the subject arose you got the typical straight from their parents mouths responses.I just redirected them, to think about it from a different angle: If men and women are such experts regarding the institution of marriage, why are divorce rates so abysmally high? I actually saw 3 or 4 of my kids, stop….process, and get confused looks on their faces. These first kernels of change come from initial confusion and personal reflection. Have faith Bradley, it will happen.

  8. Wellness Writer
    November 5, 2008 at 19:55

    Dear Bradley,I’m so sorry about this. It’s so upsetting. I can’t imagine that California–of all states–would vote this down. Yet, when I was online yesterday, looking at musical instruments, I was stunned by how many ads came up for “yes” on Proposition 8–when it had nothing to do with the subject at hand. I wonder if there wasn’t a huge influx of money from outside groups.And while I hesitate to mention this on your blog–because I know how involved you are with your church, I believe that religious groups might be providing a lot of the funding.Maybe, instead of considering Canada, you should consider speaking to church groups about homosexuality and same-sex marriage. And maybe you can get involved with people who will put this on the ballot for the next election. Just thoughts…Whenever I feel powerless or so very disappointed by things, I try and come up with ways to “empower” myself.Susan

  9. lis
    November 6, 2008 at 01:59

    Thank you for your post. I am grateful for our new president, but my hearts ache for the passing of this proposition. You are right…”bittersweet”.

  10. November 6, 2008 at 01:57

    @lulubunny Welcome. I hope you’ll be back. Be proud that UU’s were at the front lines battling against Prop 8.

  11. November 6, 2008 at 01:23

    I lived in Vancouver for 2 years…I didn’t like it.Quebec or Ontario for me, but not Toronto…YAWK.

  12. November 6, 2008 at 00:14

    I ran across your blog by doing a search for blogger profiles that mention Unitarian Universalism. I have really enjoyed what I’ve read so far – am sure I’ll be back 🙂 Just wanted to say how sad I was when I heard this afternoon when I tuned into MSNBC again (took a little news break this morning in response to overkill yesterday, lol) that prop 8 had passed. I’m still confused how anyone can justify taking away a standing civil right – I think that might be a first, even for our f’ed up country!

  13. November 6, 2008 at 00:08

    @alan I know Canada isn’t perfect, but it does have two things:Universal Health Care(which I know isn’t perfect) and marriage equality.Other than that I spent some time working in Vancouver and fell in love with the city and its people.Canadian’s are Cool!

  14. November 5, 2008 at 23:51

    I’m just curious…Why do you think Canada is so much more progressive than the US…on “everything” it seems??I don’t know why?I can’t even imagine the US giving this kind of honor to someone http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20081009/Morgentaler_order_081010/20081010?hub=CTVNewsAt11

  15. November 5, 2008 at 23:15

    @alan You have a point there. I was scared to death of McCain having the ability to add two or three justices to the supreme court.

  16. November 5, 2008 at 23:13

    @gary Great to see you comment. Your level headed as always. We have come a long way, Baby, but obviously not far enough for me. @Susan You’re right. You would think this would have been voted down in California, but there was a huge influx of out of state money. As you said, the churches were the ones united for this to pass. Primarily the Catholic and the Mormons are the ones who sunk fortunes. I’m proud to belong to a church that worked hard to defeat this proposition. @pastoral Welcome. Hope to see you come back a lot [email protected] old man It’s wonderful to hear you changed your mindset on marriage equality. I’ll forgive you for not being an Obama supporter. 🙂

  17. November 5, 2008 at 23:06

    I think it’s better that Obama won and you guys lost(probably?) with prop 8,than,McCain winning and prop 8 NO winning?Now there’s IS hope.

  18. November 5, 2008 at 20:20

    Bradley, since I’ve been reading your blog, I’ve definately changed my stance on this marriage issue. Originally, I had been of the mind set “between a man and a woman” also, but, while I can’t say exactly how or why, I agree with you 100% and feel you should have the right to marry whomever you wish. I was quite surprised to see this turnabout in the law and have no idea why it happened. My suggestion is to get more of the wacky Californians to read your blog, I guess. I’m not with you on the Obama election, though, and I doubt we would ever see eye to eye on those issues. Nothing to do with the man’s race, just some issues of trust. I really hope I’m wrong.

  19. November 5, 2008 at 19:56

    LMAO at the pic!! I too am celebrating today!Stumbled upon your blog and am enjoying it. I have Bipolar 2, glad to be finding so many of us out there blogging! Addig you to my blogroll, this blog is awesome!Jada

  20. November 5, 2008 at 18:58

    It’s true that the forces of hate, ignorance, prejudice and fear are still alive and well. However, it’s also true that there are encouraging trends. Voters in the 18-29 group had a solid majority voting no on Prop 8, middle agers voted slightly for it, and the elderly had a solid majority for it. The older the voter, the greater the chance of voting for the Prop. Also this is only 8 years away from the notorious Prop 22 which won by a much greater margin. Acceptance of gay people is growing, and same-sex marriage is on the way, it’s just going to take time.And it’s true that it shouldn’t be taking ANY time. The right to be treated like everyone else is inherent, inalienable. This doesn’t appear or disappear because of fear and ignorance, it just becomes overshadowed for a while. The truth is still there, but it’s light is temporarily covered by dark veil.Anyway, I’m glad to read that you’re angry. Anger means that you know the truth. And although I greatly sympathize with your plight, it is not just your problem, since the evil of discrimination against anyone is a wound on our common humanity.

No Comments Make Me Sad

%d bloggers like this: