Lessons From a Street Urchin

Santa Monica Blvd Street SignThis past Sunday I participated in the Los Angeles AIDS walk. Along the route was a wall where red ribbon stickers were available to write a loved one’s name. My husband, Maurice, asked if I wanted to stop and put up a sticker in honor of Eric. I told him no.

His name was Eric, but my ex-boyfriend, Mike, and I usually referred to him as the street urchin. We never knew where he came from or where he went, but almost every night we’d see him at Club 7722. Mike was a DJ there, so I spent many hours drinking while waiting for his gig to end. I’d spend most of my night in the DJ booth, or at the bar talking with the owner, but occasionally I’d step out on the back patio, which is where you’d find Eric hanging out looking for someone to hook up with for the night. It didn’t take long to figure out that was how he kept a roof over his head. We heard rumors he would hustle on Santa Monica Blvd.

Eric usually had a small audience on the patio that he entertained. He’d flirt with almost anyone to get a free drink, or some white powder up his nose. He was in his twenties, charming and good looking. His olive skin and infectious smile made him popular, but somehow he was broken. Occasionally, he’d pull down his pants and show off his goods to get attention. Sadly, he seemed to believe that all his worth was what he had between his legs.

One day Eric vanished. We were curious, but no one knew him well enough to know where he’d gone. Mike and I assumed he was in jail. We were right. He returned one night and told us he was jailed for hustling and said he had nowhere to go. I don’t know what possessed us, but we told him he could crash on our couch. Eric climbed in the car with garbage bags full of clothes. He also had a couple of garbage bags full of stuffed animals. I don’t know where he usually kept them, but they were his prized possessions. Two weeks later Eric and all his stuff was gone. I wouldn’t see him for another three years.

One day, with a year’s sobriety, I walked into one of my regular A.A. meetings. I found my seat and felt a finger tap on my shoulder. It was Eric. He asked if I was willing to stay after the meeting and talk. Being a fellow alcoholic and happy he was sober, I stayed. He told me long stories of his hustling, and jail time. He was happy to be sober and said he wanted to die sober. He had cancer due to complications from AIDS and asked me if I’d be with him at the hospital the next day. I said yes.

Eric’s stay in the hospital lasted a couple of weeks. Because he had a low T-cell count and because he also had hepatitis, his room was quarantined. The nurses let me to stay with him anyway. I slept nearly every night on a cot in his room, going home only occasionally to wash clothes. Not once did he complain about having AIDS. The only time he brought it up was one day when he said, “This is what happens when you hustle for a living.”

When Eric was released, he lived in a luxury high-rise apartment building off the Sunset Strip. He was sleeping on a mattress on the floor in a very old man’s apartment. I had no idea what the situation was and never asked. All I knew was he wasn’t happy there. He could barely walk so I came over regularly and helped him walk around the block and down to the Strip. A couple weeks later he was back in the hospital and I was on the cot again.

His T-cells dropped to dangerous levels. During these stays I got to know Eric in a different light. As I said, he was charming, but there was more to him. He told me about his family back east, he loved to brag to the nurses about his large stuffed animal collection and we had a lot of laughs. Though he was not supposed to leave his room, or smoke, I would wheel him down to the hospitals designated smoking areas where he would chat with any other patient there. I think only one of the nurses ever became upset. The rest, like me, felt that there was no point in keeping the man cooped up in his final days. Eric loved photography so I’d push him around the complex looking for flowers and interesting architecture. Interesting people too. It didn’t matter if it was an area off limits or not, if he wanted to see something, we went there.

As usual, after work, I went to the hospital one day and Eric had exciting news. He’d been approved to participate in a study for a new AIDS treatment. The only problem was his T-cells were too low, but if they increased, he could take part. Two weeks later he was approved. It was our last happy moment together. The very next day we were told he had brain cancer.

I missed Eric more each day as he quickly slipped away. He was only lucid enough to talk for brief moments. One day I got the dreaded call at work. He died. The nurses arranged to keep him in his room until I arrived to collect my things and have a chance to say goodbye. Out of character for me, I sat on his bed and talked to him for about five minutes. It seems silly now, but was important then. I guess it was closure. I’m grateful the nurses thought of me enough to wait.

What I learned from my time with Eric, was not to be so judgmental. Yes, he was a street urchin, but he was much more than that. He was a jokester, a photographer, an optimist. He had many flaws, but was still a human being deserving of respect and dignity. I learned to not judge a persons insides based on their outsides. He was my friend.

So why did I say no to posting a sticker in Eric’s honor at the AIDS Walk on Sunday? Because it was unnecessary. Eric is where he will always be – in my heart.

  23 comments for “Lessons From a Street Urchin

  1. October 27, 2016 at 17:37

    What a wonderful story! Now I have a lump in my throat and tears running down my cheeks. Mike????? LOL!

    • Bradley
      October 27, 2016 at 20:43

      LOL. I had a name closer to the real identity and Maurice suggested I change it more. I always change the names to protect the guilty. Glad it touched you, Joe.

  2. October 27, 2016 at 14:48

    Bradley, this is such a moving story both in topic and the way it is written. What you did for Eric, and by the sounds of it what he did for you, is truly amazing. Thank you for sharing.

    • Bradley
      October 27, 2016 at 15:01

      🙂 Thank you, Lydia. Your comment made me smile

  3. October 27, 2016 at 08:19

    ???. Such a beautiful story. Oh my God Brad!

    • Bradley
      October 27, 2016 at 08:29

      I’m glad it touched you

  4. October 26, 2016 at 16:06

    Such an important message and touching story. Thank you for sharing.

    • Bradley
      October 26, 2016 at 16:07

      Your welcome and thank you for your comment.

  5. October 26, 2016 at 16:02

    What a beautiful story. The wonderful way generosity of spirit opens us to love. <3

    My father cared for a much older gentleman called Max. He took care of Max for years. It wasn't romantic, it wasn't an obligation, it was a deep friendship and a deep bond. Your touching story reminds me of Max and him.

    • Bradley
      October 26, 2016 at 16:05

      Thank you for your comment, Joey. The world would be a brighter place if we just had love for each other as human beings.

  6. October 26, 2016 at 15:38

    p.p.p.s. The last 3 sentences were so cool – I didn’t expect to read that and it really got to me in a good way.

    • Bradley
      October 26, 2016 at 16:02

      🙂

  7. October 26, 2016 at 15:37

    This is so beautifully written and it’s so moving that it deserves to be seen by a huge audience that will appreciate it and be inspired by it, Bradley. I think it’s more than worthy of publication somewhere “big” but I’m not sure what publications would be most fitting. I know you’re busy, but think about it! I’d take time to query some editors.

    p.s. Have I told you lately how incredible you are?
    p.p.s. show that to Maurice! 😉

    • Bradley
      October 26, 2016 at 16:01

      Thank you for your kind words. I wouldn’t know where to begin to find a publication that would be interested in this story, but I’m flattered you think it’s worthy.

      You are pretty incredible yourself, Captain.

      • October 26, 2016 at 16:09

        Take a few minutes and look at these articles! :))) I did a Google search “top gay magazinees” and that’s how I found these but there are plenty more links tht came up.

        You would need to figure out which editor at each publiction that sounds good to send your query – if you see any that look cool, let me know & I’ll help you find the right email. I wanted to find a 2016 list of top gay magazines but got 2015. Maybe you could Google that too for the heck of it?

        p.s. you must do what your Captain tells you to do, hee hee! I’m so bossy! And I’m kidding – only do this if you feel up for it, but I know you could do it in your sleep.

        http://www.cision.com/us/2012/06/top-10-gay-and-lesbian-magazines/

        http://travelsofadam.com/2015/12/gay-magazines/

        http://www.heremedia.com/company/careers/

        Look at the different links below – do any of them appeal to you, like OUT magazine?

        • Bradley
          October 26, 2016 at 16:16

          I’m familiar with OUT. I don’t believe it’s publication worthy, but I can change that. (some stories are hard to write when you try to stay under 1,000 words.) I promise you bossy Captain, that I will check them out.

  8. Wil
    October 26, 2016 at 15:11

    So touching. Thanks for sharing.

    • Bradley
      October 26, 2016 at 19:48

      You’re welcome. I’m glad it touched you.

  9. kat
    October 26, 2016 at 11:44

    this story brought tears to my eyes. he was lucky to have had such a good friend.

    • Bradley
      October 26, 2016 at 11:47

      Thank you. I was lucky to have him as a friend also.

  10. October 26, 2016 at 10:17

    Thank you for sharing this.

    • Bradley
      October 26, 2016 at 10:56

      Thank you for reading. It was an important story for me to tell

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