The following is from a Huffington Post article on Friday the 9th by Anne Theriault.
Ten Lies Your Depression Tells You – Anne Theriault
1. You are a bad person who deserves bad things.
2. You are unhappy because you are lazy or lacking in willpower. Happiness is a choice, a choice that you have failed to make. Somehow, somewhere over the course of your lifetime, when faced with some metaphysical fork in the road, you chose the wrong path. You brought this curse down on yourself.
3. Your sadness is the baseline by which the rest of your life should be measured. This sadnesss is your norm, and any other emotions, especially positive ones, are exceptions to the rule. Yes of course there will be good times, of course there will be flashes of joy; you will certainly, on occasion, experience the pleasure of a good book or a ripe juicy peach. However, those experiences will be few and far between. Your bad days will always outnumber the good.
4. Your family and friends do not love you. Your family people who feel obligated to spend time with you because, as luck would have it, you share a similar genetic makeup. Your friends are people that you somehow tricked into thinking that you, as a person, have some kind of value, and now they don’t know how to extricate themselves from your pathetic, needy grasp. No one spends time with you because they enjoy it; they do it out of a sense of duty, a feeling of pity. Whenever you leave a room everyone breathes a sigh of relief.
5. Your family and friends do not want to hear about how sad you are. No matter how sympathetic they may seem, no matter how sincerely they might ask how you are feeling, remember that it’s all an act. The more that you open yourself up to them, the more you pour your heart out, the more resentful of you they become. Do not fall into the trap of sharing your feelings; do not give into the temptation to draw back the curtain and, like a tawdry magician, reveal your grotesque sadness. Your sadness is a choice, remember? This burden is yours to bear alone.
6. Your friends and family deserve better than you. Everyone deserves better than you.
7. In order to make up for your unhappiness, it is your responsibility to make sure that everyone around you is happy. If you can manage to maintain a near-constant veneer of kindness, helpfulness and sincere interest in others, then that will make your presence more tolerable. Your amiability, though entirely inadequate, is the best apology that you can make for your existence.
8. Everything is your fault.
If you plan a picnic and it rains, it’s your fault. You should have been more thorough when you checked the weather. You should have learned to be an amateur meteorologist so that you could better read the clouds. You should have packed a canopy. If you go out for dinner, for your once-in-a-blue-moon, hire-a-babysitter-and-wear-a-nice-dress date and the food or service or conversation is anything less than exceptional, it’s your fault. You should have read more restaurant reviews, should have asked friends for more recommendations, should have prepared cue cards with talking points. If someone is unkind to you, it’s your fault. You should have smiled more, been more gracious, tried harder to be whatever it was that they needed in that moment.
9. There is no cure for your sadness, no effective treatment, no way of managing your symptoms. There are, of course, doctors and pills and various therapies that help other people, but you’ve tried all these things and they don’t work for you. Nothing will ever work for you.
10. You will feel this way forever.
I think it’s a pretty good list, but there’s probably more. Anything you’d like to add to the list?
11 comments on Ten Lies Your Depression Tells You
So painfully true. I hope you don’t mind if I repost this…far too many people live with these lies.
I don’t mind at all, Michele. Important info to pass along.
Thanks for writing this, I feel kinda crappy today and seeing it all in a list like that gave me some perspective.
I’m glad it helped kyorlin
All horribly familiar……
I agree. Too familiar
Wow… I missed this article but I am glad to read it now. I would only change the title a bit: “Ten Lies Your Internal Critical Parent Tells You.” Many people who do not have clinical depression or any specific psych disorder have trouble with some or all of these statements.
The worst thing about them, I think, is the vicious cycle they produce. Thankfully it will NOT last forever, and there ARE ways to feel better! Now, if I can just remember to tell myself that… 😉
Remembering to tell ourselves that is the hardest part.
I think I have all of those thoughts on a daily basis
I feel the same, girlblu. Good to see you here. Don’t be such a stranger.