Philosophy class, Political Science class, volunteering ten hours a week; three blog posts each week, study six hours per week, seeking writing opportunities, laundry, vacuuming, dusting, mopping, dishwashing, psychiatrist visits, therapist visits. AAAAAAAAHHHH! I’m feeling damned overwhelmed.
I watch students who take a full class load, plus work full time and get good grades. I can’t figure out how they do it. Is it some kind of voodoo magic? Do they smoke crystal meth? Wednesday was my first day back at school. I’m only taking two classes and with everything else I have to do, I’m concerned I’ve taken on more than I can handle.
When I add up all the hours I’ve been investing it doesn’t seem like that much, but I suddenly I’m reminded that both my pdoc and my therapist agree that I’m not ready for the job market. They were both already concerned about me taking two classes at school instead of one and I had not told them about the volunteer hours I’m putting in. I kinda, sorta, left that part out.
Last week I got notice of a couple of short story opportunities just four days before the deadline. Well a few more than four, but I was on vacation. I got the stories in on time so keep your fingers crossed, but it added to my stress level and it’s breaks like this that I’ll be keeping an eye out for more often.
I’m currently in college to finally get a bachelor’s degree and then pursue a Master’s degree. I’m feeling a lot of frustration because it’s going to take many years to get that degree if I continue to take one or two classes at a time. My pdoc has tried to get me focus on being successful with each class rather than the prize at the end. To hell with how long it’s going to take. He’s right. It’s very Buddhist, but damn hard to do.
Just needed a little rant today. It’s been awhile.