Time Mismanagement

time mismanagement
Philosophy class, Political Science class, volunteering ten hours a week; three blog posts each week, study six hours per week, seeking writing opportunities, laundry, vacuuming, dusting, mopping, dishwashing, psychiatrist visits, therapist visits. AAAAAAAAHHHH! I’m feeling damned overwhelmed.

I watch students who take a full class load, plus work full time and get good grades. I can’t figure out how they do it. Is it some kind of voodoo magic? Do they smoke crystal meth? Wednesday was my first day back at school. I’m only taking two classes and with everything else I have to do, I’m concerned I’ve taken on more than I can handle.

When I add up all the hours I’ve been investing it doesn’t seem like that much, but I suddenly I’m reminded that both my pdoc and my therapist agree that I’m not ready for the job market. They were both already concerned about me taking two classes at school instead of one and I had not told them about the volunteer hours I’m putting in. I kinda, sorta, left that part out.

Last week I got notice of a couple of short story opportunities just four days before the deadline. Well a few more than four, but I was on vacation. I got the stories in on time so keep your fingers crossed, but it added to my stress level and it’s breaks like this that I’ll be keeping an eye out for more often.

I’m currently in college to finally get a bachelor’s degree and then pursue a Master’s degree. I’m feeling a lot of frustration because it’s going to take many years to get that degree if I continue to take one or two classes at a time. My pdoc has tried to get me focus on being successful with each class rather than the prize at the end. To hell with how long it’s going to take. He’s right. It’s very Buddhist, but damn hard to do.

Just needed a little rant today. It’s been awhile.

  10 comments for “Time Mismanagement

  1. September 24, 2014 at 20:32

    Sometimes you just need to rant. Sometimes you need to grieve the loss of previous expectations of ourselves. Your pdoc sounds wise.

  2. Cat
    September 6, 2014 at 11:15

    It’s easy to feel so overwhelmed. In addition to the practical commitments, your MH must also be a drain on reserves. I too wonder where people find the energy or the time and often wonder if they live in squalor!

    • Bradley
      September 6, 2014 at 12:05

      My mental health is a huge drain on reserves, that’s what makes it so difficult to do the basic day to day things. Very frustrating.

  3. Bradley
    September 5, 2014 at 18:16

    Not discouraging at all, Rose. Sage advice from a person I respect. I think I’m going to stick with where I am and monitor myself very closely.

  4. September 5, 2014 at 16:07

    That’s great you got the go-ahead from pdoc and therapist, but just keep this in mind: they are essentially “giving you permission” but it is up to YOU to decide if it is a good fit. Take good care of yourself and listen to your body closely. Keep a watchful eye on your behaviors. Be vigilant. I do so hope you are able to complete the semester successfully with what is on your plate — I just wanted to point out that you are now totally in charge of the decision to move forward or step back, which you can decide on an even minute-to-minute basis. I hope you don’t take this as discouragement — I’ve turned into an overly careful person when it comes to my mental health and I’m just saying what I would do. ((hugs))

  5. Lora
    September 5, 2014 at 11:37

    Maybe completing one course successfully is better than having a miserable semester with two, and risking dropping one or both. If you take one class at a time now it doesn’t mean that next year you will still be taking one class at a time. Your psychiatrist and therapist agreeing may be something to listen to. What does your husband think?

    As for people who work full time and take a full course load, admirable perhaps, but I don’t know that any of them are enjoying their lives while they do it and I suspect they aren’t getting the most out of their classes. I’ve never heard anyone say it was a great way to get through school.

    • Bradley
      September 5, 2014 at 13:16

      You’re right, I’ve heard plenty of people boast about working their way through school full time, but none have shared it was a good time. After chatting with my pdoc and therapist, they were both comfortable with the two classes. I think the past couple of weeks were tough because there was so much change. I’ll hang on for now and see if next week flows more easily.

  6. September 5, 2014 at 10:09

    Oh, Bradley, I hear you and I can relate. We want purpose, a meaningful job, a place among the workforce and the population in general. It sounds like you’re spreading yourself thin. Please take care and don’t burn out.

    • Bradley
      September 5, 2014 at 13:12

      I think you’re right. I am spreading myself too thin. I need to take a good long look and set up priorities

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