The impending doom feeling that I had in my previous post has cleared. The world is still spinning, I can hear children outside playing. All is good from my perspective. It really was a horrible feeling and I’m glad it’s gone. In fact, my depression is much lower this week. I still feel that underlying layer of depression that’s always there, but it’s not as noticeable. It’s not overpowering my other feelings. As a matter of fact, I feel damn good today.
The speech class I’m taking is going great. I’ve been struggling with school since I started, but I’m grateful that I’m finally starting to do better. We’ve had two tests so far and I got a “B” on each of them. In addition, I did my first speech today and aced it. This makes me feel more optimistic about taking a larger load this fall. I feel my life moving forward like a country song played backwards.
Tomorrow I have a midterm exam and, of course, I am nervous about it, however, I’m nervous about every test I take. It’s natural, I guess.
I hate to jinx it, but yesterday and today are the first good days I’ve felt, without being manic, in a long time. I know that this feeling isn’t going to last forever, but I’m not going to let that bring me down. I’m going to continue on and live my life to the fullest while it lasts. I guess the only negative is that I’m having this good period at the same time as my exam. Rather than getting out and enjoying it, I’ll be stuck at my desk studying ’til later tonight. Oh well, I have the rest of the week to enjoy it and I am planning on it.