Damn! That Hurts

Grasping sore Hand

Damn it hurts doesn’t actually cut it. It’s more like Holy Shit That Hurts! It’s been going on for a couple of weeks now. My left fingers are numb and my palm hurts. At night when I’m trying to sleep is when it’s at its worst.

I don’t like it when people diagnose themselves. If you research enough you’ll find you have pretty much every illness or disease known to humankind. But I’m almost certain I have carpel Tunnel. I’ve done tests, and researched numerous websites and they all make it clear. The big one for me is the Mayo Clinic website. If I’m going to trust any website it’s the Mayo Clinic. They describe what I have as carpel tunnel.

I’ve had problems with my right hand for years. There’s a slight pain in my elbow and my pinkie and ring fever are numb. I don’t mean their numb sometimes. It’s all the time. It’s how I found out I had a benign brain tumor. My primary care physician referred me to physical therapy and a neurosurgeon. The physical therapy was a complete waste of time except that my therapist was cute as hell. The neurosurgeon had me get an MRI. It was through the MRI they found the tumor, but they found nothing that would cause the numbness in those two fingers. Eventually, I went to another neurosurgeon to get a second opinion and he agreed there’s nothing neurological about my hand. Both neurosurgeons suggested since I’ve adapted to the trouble that I should ignore it and move on. Move on I did.

I guess I should say those two fingers are more than numb. They are virtually of no use to me. Hell, I can’t even do the Vulcan salute. I mean, I’ve been able to do that my whole life, but suddenly I can’t. It almost makes life not worth living.

Spock from Star Trek giving Vulcan hand salute.

Anyway, I’ve learned to adapt to life with having little use for those two fingers. The left hand now has all the same symptoms except for that damn shooting pain. That’s new.

I called my primary care physician this morning. We have a great relationship and she usually gets me in right away. This time I have to wait two weeks. I guess I’ll survive, but it doesn’t make typing easy.


I’ve mentioned before that I don’t like, or watch much television. I have watched a few episodes of Netflix’s Perry Mason series, but I’ve stopped. It’s not that the show is all that bad (It’s not all that good either), it’s just that I can’t focus or sit still that long.

Lately, it’s been Aerial America on the Smithsonian Channel. It’s actually on Amazon Prime but I think it used to be on Smithsonian. Not that it matters anyway. That seems to be the only show I can watch these days. Maurice and I will turn it on while having dinner and listen to the soothing narrator talk about the state you’re viewing from overhead. For the most part, they’ve whitewashed history, which is nothing new, yet it’s still entertaining and soothing.

I want to like television. I don’t want to be an addict, but it’d be nice to watch a show from time to time to see what everyone is talking about. I will admit to having been a super-fan of The Walking Dead. I don’t know why, but I loved that show and it kept my interest. I quickly grew tired of it once they killed off my favorite character. I mean, one thing I loved about that show is no one is safe no matter how strong of a character seems. You think they’re going to be okay and then…oops they got bit. But, it was this one character that I enjoyed very much and was always rooting for. It’s not only that they killed him off but they added some characters I couldn’t give a damn about, and the storyline became too repetitive. It was goodbye to the one show I could watch with great pleasure.


I miss movies. I don’t mean movies on television. I mean movies at the theater. The big screen. Some movies MUST be scene in the theater before watching them on TV. They had plans to open the theaters here in California, but quickly killed that idea when the number of Covid cases went back up. I wasn’t planning on going when they opened anyway. I believe in allowing other people to be the guinea pigs before I jump in. One of our major theater chains out here has reopened an old drive in movie theater. That sounds like some fun nostalgia, but so far they haven’t shown anything I’m all that interested in.

How Big of a Deal is the Pandemic to You?

There are so many different ways the people in this country are handling the pandemic. I have friends in some areas who act like nothing is going on. They go out and interact with friends and family just like the old days. Maybe it’s because I live in California, but Maurice and I take it pretty seriously. All our friends do too. For example, on my birthday we all got together for dinner on the beach, but we kept our distance. Not only did we keep our distance, but we kept our masks on the entire time except for when we were eating. I’m sure some people view others who are sitting on the beach with a mask on as ridiculous, but that’s the way it is here for most of us.

I miss people. I miss interacting with them. I miss hugging them. I’m a big hugger. When I have the opportunity to see a friend in an outside environment it’s almost painful not to hug them. I can’t wait until this whole damn thing is over.

What’s it like where you are? How strict are the rules?

Mental Stability

I’m not sure I’m doing better than I was yesterday. In fact, I’m almost certain I’m not, but somehow I’ve gotten used to it – for now anyway. I’ve looked into some options and it looks like I don’t have many. The best advice I get is from Maurice which is not to push myself and if I feel the need to get in bed then I should do it. As a matter of fact, I think I will. Time for a brief nap and then on to get some work done.

2 comments on Damn! That Hurts

  1. Isn’t it weird how life sends you to the right person like you getting your mri for something that didn’t end up being related. For my son it was his eyes the dr was more concerned about then the migraines. Anyway hope you get soon relief soon

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