When I decided to come back I was looking forward to an entirely different blog. I anticipated making this a breezy journal about the simple happenings in my day to day life. Sure, I planned to be honest about the ups and downs in my life, but had no intention for that to be the focus.
I think my subconscious knew the reality of what’s going on.
I feel I’m losing my sanity. All sense of reality.
Now I feel I made a big mistake. This is not a side of me I wanted the general public to see. This is not a side I wanted my readers to see. This is not a side I wanted my colleagues to see.
I’m now thinking this was all a big mistake. While I have no intention of sharing this post on Facebook, some who I don’t want to see this part of me will.
My daughter sent me a message on my birthday to ask if I’d like to talk. I have never turned her down. In fact, I’m the one always reaching out to her. I didn’t have the energy to chat with her at the time so I told her I was extremely busy and would get back with her. I’m still in shock that I did that.
So, here I am again. Exposing my soul because I don’t know where else to go.
I’m hanging on by a very thin thread here. A complete and total breakdown would be a relief. It’s the fighting that is so exhausting.