I generally don’t like separating the mental from the physical. The brain is just another organ in the body, so really it’s all physical. Isn’t it? I still have manic days and I still have depressing days, but they usually are no longer sharp spikes going up and down. These days they are more like gentle rolling hills.
So far (crossing fingers) I’m one of the lucky ones. Sure, I went through some shitty times, but today I am better. Not as together as I’d like to be, but not the same as the crazy guy who started this blog. I truly believe in a better life through chemistry. Sure, some will argue that, but It’s my reality. I am down to taking 7 pills each day. Sound like a lot? Maybe for you, but I know plenty of people who take nearly 20 pills each day. (OOPS, hold on) Sorry about that. I just reminded myself that it was time to take my pills.
Bipolar disorder and meds are a tricky business. What works for some may not work for others so it can be a long rigorous path to find the right mix for each individual. Currently I think we’ve found the right cocktail for me. I’ve been pretty stable except that a couple of weeks ago I had become too manic so my pdoc tweaked them a bit, but that was the first med change in a long time.
The biggest challenge I face these days is memory. I went through a series of memory tests years ago and the results were terrible I recently went through the same tests again and the results were…( drum roll, please)…I scored above the national average for men in my age group. My complaint is that it seems impossible to me. While better, my memory still seems terrible. My pdoc’s response to this was firstly that I’ve gotten older and memory loss is natural. Secondly, that what I lost will likely remain lost. That will naturally leave huge gaps in my memory. I’m not real thrilled with either answer, but they make sense, I guess. I’m especially not thrilled with my pdoc telling me that I’m getting old. I know that Dr. Eric. I don’t need the reminder.
One sad part of getting better is that I no longer have hallucinations. I miss the cat and the dog. Sometimes I’ll look out of the corner of my eye, but they aren’t there anymore. Most of all I miss the donkey even though I only saw him once.
I’ve posted this video before, but I thought it went well with this post. While I do believe there are many, like me, who must be medicated to overcome their mental illness, I still think this is funny.