I Shouldn’t be on Here Today

Man with piles of paper on his desk.

Writing this blog is the last thing I need to be doing right now, but it helps calm my nerves and usually gives me the kick in the ass I need to get things started.

I’m way behind this week. I have not done the editing for my show that releases on late Monday; I haven’t made an outline for my short speaking engagement during church service on Sunday; I haven’t created a list of bullet points for the interview I’ll be doing on Sunda;, NaNoWriMo begins Sunday, where I’m challenged to write 50,000 words in one month, and I haven’t completed my outline for that; The list goes on…

Election Jitters

I’m not going to go too much into the election. The polls don’t mean much at this point, and we’ve pretty much heard it all. I guess the one piece of interesting news is that Trump is likely to move his election night party from his D.C. hotel to the White House. It’s inappropriate, but that’s nothing new with him. The White House won’t hold nearly as many people so I’m guessing he’s thinking that’s fewer people who will see him cry.

Tuesday can’t get here soon enough. Most countries do their campaigning for a few months and then take their vote. Why are we so insane that we start three years ahead? It’s exhausting, and exhausted is what I am. I’m glad I got my votes in already.

I’m as much concerned what’s going to happen after the election even more than the election itself. Even if it’s a landslide either way, which I think it will be, I’m concerned things are going to get really ugly out there. Cities and National Guard units are already preparing for violence. Call me pessimistic, but I don’t think things are going to go well.

No Walking Dead Updates Today

I watched a couple of episodes of The Walking Dead last night. As you know, I’ve been justifying watching by using it as a tool to improve writing skills. It’s been quite effective actually. A lot happened in those episodes that reminded me of some basic writing guidelines, but I won’t go into the shows themselves.

I’ll simply share my biggest lesson was a reminder that scenes, and story arcs that are well written, still need to be taken out of the story if they don’t move the plot.

Missing My Kid

It’s been far too long since I’ve seen my daughter. She was supposed to fly here in early summer, but we cancelled the trip due to early covid. Now she’s at college in Berlin to earn her Masters Degree. (Should Masters Degree be capitalized? I don’t think so, but I’m not bothering to look it up)

Despite travel restrictions, she was lucky enough to get to Germany. Students are allowed to travel to the EU if their area of study can’t be found at other universities. This is not the case with her, but the university pulled some strings and get her in.

With covid and the long distance, I have no idea when I’ll get to see her again, which has me down. Her birthday is this weekend.


Getting prepared for my discussion on mental health at church this Sunday has brought a flood of memories. The first week of the series I’ll be discussing the difficulties encountered trying to get assistance from county mental health clinics. The most brutal memory is being on my knees begging them to take me as a client and being refused because they were overloaded and believed I was too high function. A lot occurred during the period from 2003 – 2007 (or so) Most of the time I view much of it as an experience, which puts it in a positive light. Since I’ll be focusing on the challenges when I speak, it’s bringing me a lot more of the bad memories than I usually focus on. Oh well, I’ll get through it, and maybe I’ll help someone in the process.

Facebook Snippiness

I try to avoid Facebook when I can, but I moderate a podcasters group so I do have to pop in periodically throughout the day to answer questions and ensuring everyone is behaving. Last night and this morning, I got into some nasty bickering between a couple of group members. Normally, I’m extremely helpful, which I know from all the positive comments I get. But these two posts rubbed me raw and I wasn’t polite in my responses.

It’s not just Facebook, though. I’ve noticed I have little patience with Maurice lately, which he pointed out not long ago. I’m sure it has to do with all the chaos on going through right now and I need to calm down. I used to have an anti anxiety med, which I don’t remember the name of, that did a great job of calming my nerves. It did make me a bit groggy, but it worked. When I changed psychiatrists, before the quack I have now, the new one convinced me to throw them out because they are highly addictive. With my addiction background, it was probably the smart thing to do, but I sure could use it now. Besides, I had a bottle for a year without abusing the meds, but just to be on the safe side…

Boy Do I Sound Negative

I just read through everything I’ve written above and it sure reads like I’m in a sour mood. Sorry about that. I’m actually well balanced lately. I think the stressors I’m dealing with now are situational and would probably put anyone on edge. That’s a good sign because it means I know the things I have to do to work past it. Knowing that means it’s time to get off this blog and get to my task list.

Have a great weekend!

4 comments on I Shouldn’t be on Here Today

  1. Sour mood? I can relate to that. We have State elections today too and I learned on the news last night that 75% of the population have either voted early or used postal votes (it’s compulsory to vote here). We are all distracted by the mess in your country, which has effected the right wing party here, who have become very unpopular, espousing Trumpian ideals. Good luck for Tuesday, the world is hoping for the right outcome.

    1. I’m naturally concerned about Tuesday, but I think the election will go well. What happens after the election is what concerns me most. Good luck on yours.

  2. I can’t wait until next week. I know it will be ugly but we have to get through that no matter what. I have been meditating several times a day for a while now and it helps.

    1. I used to ensure I meditated throughout the day, but have not been good about it lately. Maurice says he can tell when I haven’t. I need to keep it up.

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