And We’re Off


National Novel Writer’s Month officially began yesterday. With a goal of reaching 50,000 words in November, I need to get going. After this blog I’ll have to edit the podcast episode that releases for tomorrow morning. Once again, I usually have the episodes done a week in advance but I procrastinated again. This is starting to become habit that I must stop. I rest so much easier when their queued to release and I don’t have to worry until the next week.

Having to finish editing my podcast and then getting out 2,500 words today is a major undertaking, but these blog posts get me in the right frame of mind and help me start the day.

Surprisingly, I’m looking forward to the writing. I have a feeling in my gut that this is going to be a great month for getting the words out.

The Weekend

Overall it was a good weekend. Maurice and I didn’t do anything Saturday. Actually, we had to pick up a couple of things at Whole Foods and chose to walk there instead of driving. Being outside felt great. Our Halloween tradition is to turn off all the lights and watch a horror film. We were looking forward to it, but for some reason it didn’t happen. I think we both got caught up in other things. On Sunday we both agreed it was a mistake. We missed it.

Sunday was a little tougher. The sermon at church was on mental illness and several of us were asked to say a few words. Our poor minister was a nervous wreck while I was talking. All services are via YouTube these days and he kept motioning for me to wrap it up. I tried and then finished with something like “and then I got better.” LOL. I had planned to post the video here today, but I want to watch it first before I do.

I think my reflections on years past affected me more than I expected. The rest of the afternoon was filled with anxiety and some depression too. I spent quite a bit of time in bed.

I finished off all the episodes of The Walking Dead. No more until season 11 begins, which is the final season. I did watch the first episode of its newest spinoff The Walking Dead World Beyond. It’s a different look and feel than the original series, so it won’t feel repetitive. The problem is I disliked all the primary characters. It was intriguing, but I don’t think enough to continue unless someone convinces me it gets much better. Probably for the best. I don’t want to get into another TV show at this time.

My Kid Update

Midterms are over at the university my daughter goes to in Berlin, so I we both finally had a good chance to talk. It started off awkward, as if neither of us knew what to say, but then the ball got rolling. For the most part we talked about the election and society in Berlin. I found the differences between a major city in Berlin compared to here in the U.S. interesting. More different than I expected.

The county where she’s registered here in the U.S. started an email option this year which I was surprised because she lives in a deep red state. She lives in the most blue county in the state though. She thinks Biden has a pretty good chance of taking her state.

She travels frequently throughout Europe and was able to give me their perception of the United States. She says we’ve lost all respect from other nations. Apparently we’ve been the country people hoped to aspire to and that’s no longer the case. She said it’s unlikely to change until a very long time after Trump is gone. If ever. The general consensus is other nations will become leaders in the world and the U.S. will be a superpower in military only. They are in disbelief at what’s happened to our country. In the past they may have disliked a president but still had respect for the American people. Apparently that’s no longer true.

My Moods

Maurice and I had a talk last night about my mental health. I expressed my concern I was backsliding to the horrible days of old. He assured me that while my anxiety, hypomania, and depression have become more frequent, they are nothing compared to how bad they used to be.

Before I had the gastric bypass surgery, the psychiatrist at my surgeons office had to contact my regular psychiatrist to ensure I was capable of handling the surgery and its after effects. They were frustrated with my nutjob pdoc, but felt they got her to understand that the surgery may require my meds to be adjusted and depression is a common side effect even for those with no history of mental illness. The odds are much higher for those with bipolar disorder. As of now, my pdoc appears to have forgotten all that information, which hasn’t helped to stabilize me so far. Let’s hope that changes once I get someone new.

Time to Get Started

With all that, it’s time for me to move on. As I said, I’ve got a big day ahead of me and I’m not going to get anything done continuing here. Restarting the blog has proven to be very useful, but I need to be cautious of allowing it to be an excuse to procrastinate.

Enjoy your week!

2 comments on And We’re Off

  1. Great blog today my friend. Struggling through the darkness is better than giving in to it, as hard as it is sometimes.

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