It’s All Good

Sometimes I look back on old posts and think I’m very negative.  Too negative.  Am I really always that miserable?  The answer is no. I am not.  Oh, I get some fucked up days… many of them, actually, but I probably have more good than bad.  At the very least it’s 50/50.

This blog is my outlet when I’m sad, have the blues, am very depressed or extremely manic.  It’s not a conscious thing, it’s just that I find myself having more inspiration when I’m feeling shitty.  I am now starting to realize that’s not fair.  Don’t I owe it to my readers to show that things can, and do get better?  Don’t I owe that to myself?  I think I do, and, I think I should allow my writing to reflect that.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am depressed.  In fact, I’d say I’m always depressed.  As I’ve said many times before, it’s always there and it always feels like it crawling under my skin doing everything it can to make my life miserable, even on my best days.  So I smile, I laugh, I socialize on my best days to help mask the pain.  On my worst days it is nearly impossible to do any of those things.  I don’t shower, I keep the blinds shut and try to stay away from the world.  Those days are excruciatingly painful, but I must accept them, and remember they don’t last.

I am going to try harder to write more when I’m on an upswing from now on.  I think it’s something I need to do for myself and for my readers.


9 comments on It’s All Good

    1. Thank you, quill. After I posted this I thought some more and realized I didn’t want my posts to feel forced. I think I’ll likely keep doing what I’m doing and post something only when I feel the urge, which is usually 2 – 3 times a week.

  1. *chuckles* My lack of serious depression has dried up my blog fodder, ha ha. As others have said — this is our outlet, for good and bad. Keep writing what’s going on with you, and that’ll just have to do. 😀

  2. All you can be is YOU, and that’s good enough for the rest of us. It doesn’t matter if you’re up or down, sideways, or manic…we read because YOU are YOU. Keep it up! Best always, Rose

  3. Hey there!
    I noticed the latest post being a bit negative too, but its great to see that you seem to have gotten it covered.
    Maybe the thing is to remember that the bad days doesn’t last forever?

    And as usual: Keep being awesome and kicking depression ass!
    Virtual-hugs / K

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