One Thing Up
I think I’m manic. I generally deal with depression but this time I’m pretty sure I’m manic. Well, that’s not true. Even though it’s been awhile, I know without a doubt I’m manic.
In the past 2 1/2 days I’ve had approximately two hours of sleep. TWO HOURS! You’d think I’d be exhausted, but nope. I’m sitting here at my pc with over a dozen tabs open. That’s where I’ve been most of that time, but I’ve darted here and there around the house some too. I will say I’ve been productive, but not exactly the way I want. I’m getting no writing done and I have a lot of editing to do for next week’s podcast. They require too much focus which I don’t have. The positive is I’m not wasting time surfing willy-nilly around the net. I’ve gotten a lot done, but it’s a lot of busy work. It’s the kind of the stuff you say you’ll get around to someday. I guess that’s good.
I do yawn from time to time so my body is telling me I need rest, I guess, but climbing into bed and staying still until I doze off is out of the question. I feel yucky because I haven’t showered in three days. Showering is an activity, but it’s an activity that requires I slide the glass doors and stand in a tiny space. I know just a 5 minute shower will do a world of wonders so I’ll get to it today. Not right now, though.
Maurice and I discussed it when he got out of bed this morning and we do have the same suspicion. Because I’ve been mopey and unable to focus, my pdoc put me on some new meds. Their purpose is to make me be able to focus. As always, I won’t name the drug. Since we all have different reactions to different meds, I don’t like to encourage people to start playing doctor. Anyway, I started the med early this week and here I am. Because new meds can have early side effects that eventually go away, I’m not going to stop taking them yet. I’ll continue on and if things don’t change I’ll call my pdoc.
Eating has been an issue. I’m not overeating, or eating bad foods, but I have no eating schedule and I scarf it down real fast. After gastric bypass surgery eating fast is a big no no. You’re supposed to chew slowly and take about 20 minutes to finish a meal, or you can have one or more of many side effects. Side effects I’m having is right, and to put it mildly…I get a bad case of the shits. Real bad. In the past its caused me to throw up. I’m not sure which is worse.
One Thing Down
That’s not really true. It’s 100 things down. I thought I knew the date when I first walked into my surgeons office. I believed it was exactly a year this week. Looking through my calendar, I’m not so sure, but it’s close.
I don’t know when the pic below on the left was taken, but it represents my weight when I first met my surgeon and she put me on a pre-operation diet. The pic on the right was taken the other day. 101 pounds lighter.
Because of Covid, my surgery date was delayed so I stayed on that diet longer than normal. There was a short break when the number of patients went down so they got me quickly into surgery to have the gastric bypass. I lost 28 pounds on that diet. The other 73 pounds came off after I had my surgery in June. Needless to say I’m pleased as punch and don’t regret the surgery for one minute.
My face looks good in the pic but you can see I’m still a little pudgy. (Well, part of that is the shirt, but whatever) To reach my goal weight my surgeon and I agreed upon I need to lost another 31 pounds. Who knows, if I start looking sickly, I’ll stop before then. If I went by the BMI charts, I have substantially more than 31 pounds to go, but my doctor warned me that’s not a good idea. To go down to that after being so overweight would make me loo emaciated. At this point I definitely want to loose more, but am playing but ear rather than having a rigid goal.
Other than the crazy mania over the past few days, things have been going well. The weight loss is just icing on the cake.
That’s it for the day. It’s been awhile since I’ve checked in and then suddenly had the two big events: The many and the weight loss. I figured it was time for an update.
Sorry if there’s a lot of typos and grammatical errors. In calmer times don’t do a good job of editing after writing a blog post. It sure as hell ain’t happening today.
5 comments on One Thing Up One Thing Down
I feel for you. Mania is so dangerous for me. The whole house of cards could come crashing down.
Do you feel you can better manage your mania or depression?
That’s hard to say. Both get me distracted so I get little done. If pushed, I’d have to say depression because I have it much, much more frequently. I’ve learned to adapt.
I still can’t log on with WordPress to comment, so I guess you’ll know it’s your Aussie pal. So sad you are going through this Brad ♥
All the best to you, Brad.