Over the past couple of days I went back and read my posts during 2008 and 2009. This was when my bipolar disorder was at its worst and MY pdoc had not yet discovered what medications worked for me. I still struggle with it on a daily basis, but rarely close to the way it use to be. For the most part, with some limitations, I am a functioning member of society.
As I said yesterday, I am grateful that I still have a full life ahead of me. 1 out of every 5 people diagnosed with bipolar disorder successfully commits suicide. I should have been one of those. I almost was. Thankfully it didn’t happen. I am grateful to have my daughter in my life, I’m grateful to have a wonderful man in my life who loves me unconditionally. I am grateful for so many things.
In addition to reflecting on my growth over the past few years, the bombs in Boston also put me in this frame of mind. As we say in A.A., I have an attitude of gratitude. I have so many wonderful gifts in my life. I love days like today when I can remember them.
Life is good.
2 comments on Reflection
thanks for sharing your positive vibe … i’m in the middle of mixed-episode crapland and cannot imagine things ever being anything other than insufferable, annoying, depressing exhaustion. there are quick moments when i realize it’s a headspace. moments. but it helps to be here in this little community and hear distant horn blasts like yours.
I appreciate the feedback, Jeff. Mixed episodes suck. I hope it passes quickly. Things got better for me after years of hopelessness, I hope you will be able to say the same thing soon.