Weekly Wrap-Up September 19, 2016

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Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! I can’t say it was a bad week, but like the week before, it was exhausting. Because of being so tired I nearly drowned from all the coffee I guzzled. Sure, it felt like being on crack, but I stayed awake. I got use to my hands shaking the way they did.

Heavy on my mind was trying to reason why I so frequently self-sabotage. As you’ll read below, it was a disastrous week taking care of my physical self, and still difficult writing. I need something to be a true accomplishment in my life. Something that I make a plan and succeed carrying out. I felt 100% certain it was going to be the novel. I still believe I will finish it, and it will be something I’m proud of, but I need for it to remain something I’m passionate about.

On Friday I tried to talk with my therapist about self-sabotaging, but I don’t think I made him understand how much I see it affecting my life. It’s almost as if I got no reaction at all. I did not leave his office feeling good about our session. Sigh.

Weight and Fitness

Weight on Sep 12 – 260.2

Due to another obligation Maurice and I didn’t get weighed at Weight Watchers last week. To ensure accuracy, I will only get weighed at the same time and place every week. I’m struggling enough. The last thing I need is to get fluctuations in my weight that have nothing to actually do with my body.
I’m somewhat greatly relieved I didn’t get weighed. I can’t think of any other time that I ate as much as I did last week. Lots of snacks and dessert nearly every night. It was insane. On top of all that, the week was between Maurice’s birthday and my birthday, so we were taken out to eat several times. I did not make good food choices.

Don’t even ask about exercise. I don’t want to give an honest answer. I felt bloated and disgusting all weekend. This week I will have to work my ass off.


Good news! I’ve written just over 50% of my manuscript. Bad news! I have 50% more of my manuscript to write. I didn’t give it much thought until I read an old email about the novel to a friend. The email was from August 2015. August!!! I had no idea it’s been over a year since I started. If you read memoirs by writers, almost all of them say it took a year, or more, to write their first novel, then it took them less and less time as they became more skilled. Like them, it’s been over a year for me, but I have long ways to go.

I’ve already been told numerous times to relax, so I’m trying. I’m just frustrated. You see, not only is it important for me to get published (keep fingers crossed,) but I’ve been viewing this as a possible revenue source. I’d love to get off disability and contribute more to the household income. I fully realize that very few people make money by writing, but I certainly am going to do the best I can.
The silver lining is that I’m pleased with how the story is going. I love my cast of characters and the differences in their personalities. Mitch, the PI, is not quite a hard-boiled detective, but he’s pretty uptight and stressed while the characters around him are a bit crazy. Believe it or not, as long as I’ve been writing this, I’m still unsure how the clues and red herrings will fall into place. Hell, when I started it, I wasn’t even sure who was guilty. With the draft I wrote a week or so ago, I’m more confident with how the last half of the novel will go.


My mood was frustrating, but I guess relatively stable; there was nothing remotely close to a healthy diet and exercise; my writing slump is gone and I’m slowly progressing forward with it. The week was meh, so I’ll give it a C.

15 comments on Weekly Wrap-Up September 19, 2016

  1. Sometimes the best writings take the most time. Don’t get discouraged…I know it has to be frustrating especially since you would like this to be a revenue source. You’ll get there. I’m thinking this might be one of those times where the person divulging information isn’t looking for an answer …but just thought I’d give some encouragement.

    More good news…the email notifications are back for your posts, however this post didn’t appear in my reader. At least I’ll be notified of when you do have a new post.

    1. Good you’ll be getting my notifications now. Yeah, since I wrote this yesterday, I’ve calmed down about the novel thing since then. I spoke with a reporter last night who set me straight on how long it can take to write a book, especially a first timer.

  2. Hi Bradley. I hear your frustration. You are juggling 3 balls, controlling mood swings (not easy), losing weight (also not easy, requiring much discipline) and writing a novel (requiring much discipline). Juggling one ball is easy–very seldom will that one ball be dropped. It’s easy to get back in rhythm. Two balls is more of a challenge, more likely that a ball might be dropped from time to time. Getting back in rhythm takes a little more effort but isn’t too bad. Three balls is a greater challenge and a ball will be dropped more often. Getting back in rhythm takes more of an effort. The more balls, the more chance of an error and a ball dropped. I’d say that it says a lot about your determination that you keep picking up every ball you drop. Many people would give up on something to make things easier. You will get to your goal because of your determination. Maybe not as fast as you would like but you’ll get there. Pats on the back–overall, looking at the big picture, you’ve done well. You’re honing your skills which is an ongoing process. We’re never done with it. Cheering you on….Journeyupward

    1. Your comments made me smile. You helped put things in a perspective that I wasn’t seeing. I’m terrible at juggling. lol. I believe I am on the right path, it’s just not at the pace I’d like. I’m working harder on acceptance in my life.

  3. You got great comments; they are all hard acts to follow.
    I don’t want to freak you out, but it took me 9 years to write my book! There were slightly extenuating circumstances, as you can imagine. Most importantly, I know in my gut you will NOT take that long to complete your book and land a deal, my friend!

    I’m glad you were able to speak with the reporter – what’s that about, by the way? A friendly chat or an interview gig? Sounds cool!

    As for the frustrating food/exercise stuff, please stick with me on Lose It! We’re both struggling big-time, but we’ll stumble through this rough patch together, albeit virtually, LOL….and rise above!

    1. 9 years is a long time, and I’m confident it won’t take that long. lol. It won’t be long at all, just not on my time.

      I was interviewed yesterday for a magazine. We’ll have to see if the article is published. I’ll give a heads up when it happens.

      Struggling is right, but I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying with you on Lose It.

      Haven’t gotten exercise yet today like I normally do. I try to be long gone by now, but I’m having a bad case of the no shower syndrome. I’ve tried numerous times to get in there, but no luck so far. I’m going to try and force myself one more time and if that doesn’t work I’ll have to work from home. 🙁

  4. Wow, 50% done. Wow. I’m impressed!

    I don’t even own a scale. I relate everything to how my pants and I feel. We feel like we’re in menopause, lol.

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