A Mellow Med Change

I saw my psychiatrist yesterday. I hear many horror stories about people that hate their pdoc (slang for psychiatrist). I feel blessed because I adore mine. We work as a team rather than her just handing me pills. We actually laugh a lot. Definitely Not the stereotype of what you view a psychiatric session is like.

I had a med change. I now take a double dose of neurontin in the morning. I assume that’s why I feel the way I do today – like I’ve been smoking weed. Just mellow and hanging out and doing nothing. It’s probably not the effect I’m suppose to have but I like it. It will probably change as my body gets use to it. DAMN!

She also doubled lamictal so maybe that’s what is causing the effect. I don’t know.

This is pretty much what bipolar recovery is:

Will this work? Nope. it made you nuts.
How about this? Nope it. made you depressed.
Maybe this one? Perfect but it makes you fat.
And so on…

Everyones chemistry is different so it’s a lot of hit or miss. Trial and error. The errors sometimes really suck.

I asked my pdoc about going back to work. Yikes! She thinks I’ll be ready soon. I wish I didn’t ask. Scares the shit out of me after being on disability for two years. Plus you usually start out with a job that’s simple and non stressful. Going to be kinda humbling. On the plus side I asked if I could just get additional training in web design so I can get back to my own web design business. She thinks it possible. I just need to talk with vocational rehab. I’m keeping my fingers crossed. I’d much rather run my business at my pace then get a job putting pegs in holes all day.

  3 comments for “A Mellow Med Change

  1. April 26, 2008 at 16:35

    Very cool!! I didn’t know you did web design. Jenda did that for awhile as a side business. She basically designed blogs for people. It sounds like you’re making headway in your battles, and I’m glad for you. As Kimala said, you deserve the best. I’ve known you for almost a year now and you’ve become a wonderful friend and a part of my life. Thank you and remember you have friends along side you.

  2. April 26, 2008 at 11:47

    I concur with the Kimala comments. You have way too much to offer to be on the sidelines. It is simply outstanding that you have the relationship with your pdoc that you have. Nothing but good can come out of that type of collaboration. She sounds very special. You are a solid dude who will have a life of abundance!! Pass the corn please…

  3. April 25, 2008 at 21:32

    Brad -Your road ahead sounds exciting! To have the creativity of a web design business and the comfort and flexibility of it being your own, possibly from home would be fantastic. The world of homebusinesses, telecommuting and online seem to be expanding exponentially.I will be thinking good things for you in all of this in days to come! 🙂 You deserve nothing but the best!Kim

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