What do I Want to do?

what do I want to do

What do I want to do? Over the years I’ve written a few posts about returning to work. In the past couple weeks, it’s come up again with my pdoc and my therapist, so I am bringing it up again. I hope my long term readers will indulge me a bit. Over the years there have been many things I’ve wanted to do – farmer, veterinarian, astronaut, actor, studio cameraman, fire fighter, painter, garbage collector, a writer, gardener, cartoonist, and the list goes on. Most of these were flights of fancy when I was a kid, but many carried on into adulthood. This is true especially of writing, or being a cartoonist.

My Options

I credit Doonesbury creator, Garry Trudeau, for my desire to be a cartoonist. I was a political junkie at an early age. Started in 1970, Doonesbury’s satire on politics, was not lost on this seven-year-old. If you’re not familiar with Doonesbury, you can go here to learn about it.

My dream of being a writer didn’t begin until high school after reading the classics, especially “Grapes of Wrath.” I too wanted to write the great American novel.

After graduating high school, I pursued both dreams. I bought a large drafting table for drawing. I can’t remember the name of the strip I created, I only remember the lead characters’ name was Marcus Newark, and most stories revolved around his working one job after another, and his many failed relationships. Marcus had a talking dog, much like Brian the dog, on Family Guy. I spent hours working on the cartoon, and looking back. I am quite pleased with the results. I didn’t pursue my desire to be a writer as diligently. I subscribed to Writer’s Digest magazine, and purchased the Writer’s Market book so I would know who to submit my writing to. The problem was that I never wrote anything to submit.

The concern with being a cartoonist, or a writer is I was scared to death. What would happen if my submissions were rejected? How would I possibly handle it? I allowed fear and anxiety to control my life.

What do I Want to do?

I’d forgotten about both pursuits until recently when I declared I am a writer. I don’t know why thirty years ago I worked harder to be a cartoonist than a writer and today I have a much stronger desire to have a novel published. Also, I’ve tossed my desire to write the great American novel out the window and decided to write something fun. I’ve decided to write a mystery novel. Well, that’s not true, being a mystery writer has chosen me. I began reading mysteries regularly and grew to love the genre. Before that I mostly read science fiction, but never took up a desire to write a Syfy.

So, as I’ve said many times, today I am a writer and am having more fun than I could possibly imagine. My therapist, pdoc, and I have all agreed that I should consider gettinga a more traditional job at a later point, but now it’s important to fulfill a major dream of mine once and for all.

18 comments on What do I Want to do?

    1. Sure. I did some cartoons early on in the blog, but my art skills were virtually non-existent. I’ll either repost them, or more likely redraw them and post. It would be fun.

  1. I tottally agree that you should go for it now, while you can, as far as having fun writing!
    You’ll get to that more traditional job later…carpe diem, my friend!

    In the meantime, I must tell you yet again that you inspire me so much every week as you continue to write no matter what. You attend your writing group (which is SUPER-brave in my “book”!;), and you blog and work on your fitness program.

    p.s. I LOVE the new, revamped look of this site!!!!!!!!!

    1. Thank you, dyane. I always love your accolades. I know the odds are super low, but my goal is that through writing I don’t have to get a more traditional job. I know a couple of people who live off their writing, so why can’t I? Glad you love the new look, I do too.

  2. First things first, loving the new theme/layout/etc. It is so clean and sparkly and white, I just want to jump into it like a fresh pile of snow! I “get” wanting a traditional job — I often miss the daily interactions I had helping others, but I am still a very long way off mentally from being there. So, in the meantime, I run my little jewelry business and just try and keep my head above water. Whatever works for YOU!!! 🙂

    1. Glad you like the look. Yes, I’m not there yet for a traditional job yet, either. Writing works for me, and I’m glad you started a business that works for you.

    1. Yes, it is. I remember the rush I felt the first time I told someone I am a writer – and I believed it.

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