President George Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington DC 20500
Dear President Bush,
Yesterday I was was surfing the net and I stumbled upon a very interesting Associated Press article which reports that in order to help medical students learn the symptoms of bipolar disorder that a “Mania Day” is held at the Univeristy of Vermont. On this day, people who do not have bipolar disorder are trained for several hours to learn how to “fake it.” There are other students who have been trained to have other ailments so the doctors-in-training learn how to make a correct prognosis. What an excellent program. I’m happy to see that future health care providers are learning to properly diagnose bipolar disorder as well as other ailments.
One interesting point of the article, however, concerns me. These students were paid $20 per hour to pretend they are bipolar. I am a professional, Sir ,and I am sure you would agree that at the very least I should receive compensation equal to these amateurs. However, I currently receive a $1200 per month disability payment and I am bipolar 24 hours per day. This amounts to only $1.66 per hour. Knowing you are a fair man, I am certain this is an oversight and will be adjusted accordingly.
For your benefit and the benefit of the Federal Accounting Office, here is a simplified breakdown of my bill:
- $20 per hour to have bipolar disorder 24 hours daily = $480 per day
- 30 days at $480 per day = $14,400 per month
- 6 months since diagnosed with bipolar disorder = $86,400
- In fairness I subtracted the amount I have received = $7200
Total amount of bill: $79,200
I have attached a detailed invoice and expect prompt payment of this bill.