Honesty

honesty

Since I started this blog I’ve always been upfront and honest about my past, my disorder(s) and what’s going on in my life. I don’t want that to change. I prefer full honesty.

Earlier today I published a post about my guilty pleasures In life. One of the items I listed had to do with a particular type of pornography (nothing illegal). For some reason, considering all the crazy things I’ve shared, this one made me very uncomfortable. I don’t know why it made me uncomfortable, but I even commented that some may find it TMI (Too much information.)

Since that post I’ve experienced a significant drop in followers. It may not have been significant to some of you, but based on my total followers, it was significant to me. Yes, I do monitor each day how many have started following my blog and how many have cancelled. It’s important to me because I am reaching out to others with mental illness and their family and friends. The number of positive emails I’ve received thanking me over the years, tells me that I’m successful most of the time.

Other bloggers I know, in fact most I know, would have probably said “screw them,” I write what I want. I always thought that was the case for me, but today that is not. Perhaps the ones who cancelled didn’t like my writing style, my overall subject matter, or are just cutting back on the blogs they read. However, because I was so uncomfortable sharing this information, I’m feeling vulnerable and decided to take those few sentences off my earlier post. I’m disappointed with myself for doing so. This is the first time in my eight years of blogging that I’ve edited myself after the fact. I hope I never choose to do so again.

The more I think about it, the more unlikely I think that was their reason for cancelling, however, I do feel better about removing that information even though I’m disappointed with myself for doing so. Perhaps one day I’ll do a full post about that information and I’ll be less glib about it. I think others would find it interesting if written properly.

I welcome any and all feedback.

***Update***
After a bit of soul searching, I decided to move past the drama and added back what I took out earlier.

  38 comments for “Honesty

  1. August 4, 2016 at 22:09

    I’m glad you decided to put the extra bit back. People need to respect that this is your space to do with what you will.

    On a side note, I’ve noticed some WordPress updates and whatnot, so maybe a drop was due to that in part. Seems like things always go haywire when they’re changing things up.

  2. August 4, 2016 at 01:24

    I’m SO GLAD you added it back 🙂
    Those things are what make you, YOU. If someone doesn’t like you, their choice. I think the only important thing is that you like yourself 🙂
    Keep writing what makes you happy 🙂 (And I’m sorry they decided to leave. Their loss. They can’t handle honesty, let them live in their “perfect” worlds 🙂 <3 )

    • Bradley
      August 4, 2016 at 09:26

      Agreed

  3. August 3, 2016 at 09:06

    Don’t let those who don’t get you – get you down. It is not my business if you use it in the most harmless way possible. I have opinions about the industry but I don’t really want to get into that right now. I like what you write and everyone on this planet has vices. Unfortunetly we can’t please everyone. If someone can’t handle honesty well I think that is their problem. Chin up ,friend 🙂

    • Bradley
      August 3, 2016 at 09:18

      Thank you, Daisy. I appreciate your comment and agree with everything you’ve said.

  4. August 3, 2016 at 07:48

    All we can ever ask for in life is to be allowed to embrace our flaws, our quirks and ourselves as best we can. Others may not choose to accept us as we are because they haven’t yet accepted themselves. It takes nothing short of a journey through hell and back to be the person you look in the mirror each day and some people haven’t yet made that journey. So don’t sweat them. Just as long as you’re proud of the person you are and have accepted that you are you-that’s all you can do.

    • Bradley
      August 3, 2016 at 07:58

      Great comment. I appreciate it. You hit the nail on the head

  5. August 3, 2016 at 07:40

    p.s. I just saw you updated us and added back the section – hurrah! I’m proud of you for being *you*! :)))))

  6. August 3, 2016 at 07:38

    If you read my comment on the Guilty Pleasures post, I mention how I would like to check out the free sexual option you listed. I thought twice about writing that, because oh my, I could lose followers, my publisher could read it, potential book buyers could freak, blah blah, blah, but then I realized it’s 100% okay to be myself, and to write about my interest in sexual subjects if they aren’t illegal, hurtful things or snuff films.

    I deliberately don’t check out who stops following my blog because it would bum me out….
    I totally don’t blame you for feeling the way you do!
    And also, I truly don’t think WordPress stats in that area are accurate.

    Anyway, I love your blog.
    Try your very best to let this all go – it’s okay you edited that part, and you could always put it back in. It’s okay to mourn editing something for the first time. I would feel bad too.

    I’m down to following less than 10 blogs these days. (I used to follow WELL over 120!)
    It’s primarily due to being with my kids much more this summer, my upcoming memoir’s publication deadline w/Post Hill Press, and my lower energy level – and (drum roll please…)

    YOUR blog made the cut, Bradley!!!!!!!!

    Sending you big hugs!!!!!

    Your Lose It! buddy recuperating from Eatpastry cookie dough-itis
    (at least it was gluten-free & vegan – yep!)
    XOXOX
    Dyane

    • Bradley
      August 3, 2016 at 08:46

      Glad I made the cut. I’m honored. I’m following nearly 200 blogs now. Thankfully, most people don’t post every day

  7. August 3, 2016 at 07:28

    Ever since I saw the title of this, I can’t stop this song in my head – and now I pass the baton to *you*!

    • Bradley
      August 3, 2016 at 07:56

      Now I know which song will be playing in my head all day 🙂

      • August 3, 2016 at 08:23

        Ahhhh haa haaaaaaaa!

  8. August 3, 2016 at 05:12

    Hey, I watch porn sometimes myself.
    But yeah, I get what you’re saying. Glad you put it back.

  9. August 3, 2016 at 04:06

    I’m a conservative Christian, but I didn’t flinch when I read it. There’s a reason you put it there. Pure, raw honesty is what makes a blog real. It makes it authentic. It makes it you. I’m not going to unfollow you because you admitted to being yourself! That’s ridiculous!

    • August 3, 2016 at 04:08

      And when I say “conservative Christian” I meant I never do anything wrong! Just wanted to clarify 😉

      • Bradley
        August 3, 2016 at 07:44

        Hysterical

    • Bradley
      August 3, 2016 at 07:43

      You really made my day. Thank you

  10. August 2, 2016 at 21:08

    I didn’t see that post. But if it made you uncomfortable and you wanted to delete it, then that was the right decision at this time. Don’t worry about people that have unfollowed. I’m sure many have stayed! And there will be new followers.It’s your blog, so you can express what you want 🙂

    • Bradley
      August 2, 2016 at 21:41

      Thank you, Jenny. I did remove it and later put it back. I think it had most to do with my present mood rather than anything else

  11. August 2, 2016 at 18:49

    I don’t worry much about the follower number since the majority of it is made up of either spammers or other “bloggers” trolling for follow-backs. They come and go all the time, and it’s possible there was some attrition in the spam-o-verse. There’s really no way for us to know how many lurkers we really have on our blogs… so I pay most attention to those I know follow me, and take note if any of them suddenly disappear.

    • Bradley
      August 2, 2016 at 21:39

      Yeah, I normally don’t pay much attention to the comings and goings, its just that suddenly I had so many drop off. I’m over my concerns

  12. August 2, 2016 at 18:47

    It didn’t bother me. My husband does the same thing and that doesn’t bother me either.

    • Bradley
      August 2, 2016 at 18:51

      Thank you, Janet

  13. kat
    August 2, 2016 at 17:48

    glad you added it back.

    • Bradley
      August 2, 2016 at 17:55

      Me too. We’ve been following each other for quite awhile, so you know some of the crazy stuff I’ve written. I don’t know why this bothered me so much.

  14. August 2, 2016 at 17:29

    I do this all the time, and have deleted whole blogs in general for fear that ‘the wrong’ people would read my writings after a bad experience with LiveJournal back in my twenties that left me losing some friends and feeling alienated. I don’t think your post was overly salacious. I understand wanting to be known for helping those in need, but we’re all human. I think we have lost some human-ness to a certain extent in our sanitized interactions with one another. Leave it out if it makes you feel better, but don’t do it to make others feel better since you never know who you may reach.

    • Bradley
      August 2, 2016 at 17:32

      Excellent feedback, Hart. I decided to put it back.

  15. August 2, 2016 at 17:14

    I still say joke ’em if they can’t take a fuck!

    • Bradley
      August 2, 2016 at 17:25

      I agree. I put it back up

  16. August 2, 2016 at 16:58

    This should be a safe place for you to be your self. We all have issues that are less than savoury to some. I will never leave you BradleY.

    • Bradley
      August 2, 2016 at 17:03

      Thank you, I’m leaning towards putting it back up. I’ll give myself about a half hour to think about it.

      • Bradley
        August 2, 2016 at 17:29

        After the little drama that went on in my head, I went ahead and put it back. Always love your support

  17. August 2, 2016 at 16:54

    I get follows and unfollows all the time. It still matters even though I don’t want it to. Put it back on if you want. Taking it off isn’t going to make any of them come back. 🙂

    • Bradley
      August 2, 2016 at 16:56

      That’s true, they’re already gone. Much of it was my discomfort, but I’ll give it serious consideration to put it back, even if it’s for the sake of accepting who I am.

      • August 2, 2016 at 17:03

        To be honest, I don’t even remember what it was. I was too keyed in on the gum issue! 😉

        • Bradley
          August 2, 2016 at 17:10

          LOL. That’s funny

        • Bradley
          August 2, 2016 at 17:28

          After a little soul searching and your coaxing, I put it back. Thank you

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