Since I started this blog I’ve always been upfront and honest about my past, my disorder(s) and what’s going on in my life. I don’t want that to change. I prefer full honesty.
Earlier today I published a post about my guilty pleasures In life. One of the items I listed had to do with a particular type of pornography (nothing illegal). For some reason, considering all the crazy things I’ve shared, this one made me very uncomfortable. I don’t know why it made me uncomfortable, but I even commented that some may find it TMI (Too much information.)
Since that post I’ve experienced a significant drop in followers. It may not have been significant to some of you, but based on my total followers, it was significant to me. Yes, I do monitor each day how many have started following my blog and how many have cancelled. It’s important to me because I am reaching out to others with mental illness and their family and friends. The number of positive emails I’ve received thanking me over the years, tells me that I’m successful most of the time.
Other bloggers I know, in fact most I know, would have probably said “screw them,” I write what I want. I always thought that was the case for me, but today that is not. Perhaps the ones who cancelled didn’t like my writing style, my overall subject matter, or are just cutting back on the blogs they read. However, because I was so uncomfortable sharing this information, I’m feeling vulnerable and decided to take those few sentences off my earlier post. I’m disappointed with myself for doing so. This is the first time in my eight years of blogging that I’ve edited myself after the fact. I hope I never choose to do so again.
The more I think about it, the more unlikely I think that was their reason for cancelling, however, I do feel better about removing that information even though I’m disappointed with myself for doing so. Perhaps one day I’ll do a full post about that information and I’ll be less glib about it. I think others would find it interesting if written properly.
I welcome any and all feedback.
After a bit of soul searching, I decided to move past the drama and added back what I took out earlier.